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Big Brother Canada 3: Final Three Weeks

OK, so… With 3 weeks left in the game, I am going to breakdown how I see the remaining houseguests. I know many of us have been lamenting about how God-awful this cast is, and this post is not going to be any different. So, if you think that this is the best gosh-darn season of Big Brother, in the history of ALL Big Brothers (or, if you are a fan of the Diaper Alliance), you may kindly stop reading and exit stage left!

I started to make this a twitlonger, but I thought this post would be more fun with pictures!

See?

The only thing making this season somewhat interesting are the never ending twists… (No, seriously… Is there some kind of Big Brother Twist record that #BBCAN3 is trying to break that we are unaware of???)

Anywho, This is my breakdown!

Zashleigh Reimagined
Zashleigh Reimagined

ASHLEIGH: Smartest move in the game was finding a “showmance” to use as a meat shield. Luckily, her showmance led to joining forces with another showmance and the ultimate formation of the super elite Shit Squad… or Diaper Alliance; whatever. Despite having the combined IQ of a cucumber and the instincts of a gnat, the Diapers have pretty much controlled most of the nominations and evictions this season. The fact that this alliance has been so tone deaf to what is ACTUALLY happening in the house, and have only JUST lost its first member, is an astounding testament to just how bad this season is. As Ygritte from Game of Thrones would (theoretically) say, “You know nothing, Diaper Alliance!” Their perception? NOT on fleek! But, as others have noted, you do not have to be smart if you keep winning the competitions. So, good for you, Ashleigh for picking competitions beasts!

As incensed as Ashleigh gets when she hears that people think she is Zach’s lapdog, she still uses her first comp win/HOH to prove them right by going after his targets instead of those who would threaten her game most. Despite being much more intelligent and perceptive than him, she always gives in to Zach’s thinking over her own instincts. She is young and clearly has not learned to trust her instincts, yet. Still, I find this frustrating. After all, as a Vagina Warrior, I do actually want her to be great, damnit!

In conclusion: In a roundabout way, this upcoming twist could actually help Ashley if Zach or Bruno is evicted. If Zach leaves, she will not have him to talk the common sense out of her. If Bruno leaves, as one born penis-less, she is instantly safer. Essentially, this twist may save her from herself.

BRITNEE: “The Pawnable Model with No Brains” can best describe how the house (and many a fan) sees Britnee. The house pretty much sees Britnee’s moves as Sarah’s moves (as if Sarah would have wanted Willow on the block) and blamed Sarah (and Johnny) for Graig’s eviction. Sarah IS “poison,” after all, right? Last night, The remaining Shitters Diapers blamed Sarah for Britnee’s nominations of Pili, Kevin and Zach. You know… The very people who used Britnee as a pawn by nominating her, repeatedly, week after week. Pili actually asked Sarah why Britnee nominated her. Why WOULDN’T she nominate you??? (I know, logic…)

While Britnee is taking a lot of flak for nominating Willow, as a replacement during the triple eviction, from her perception Willow was no less of a threat than Ashleigh or Pilar, given that Willow was Sarah’s ally and not hers. That, on the top of the fact that Willow was playing everyone (but Sarah) in the house and never considered for the block, perhaps made her even more of a threat in Brit’s eyes. Fake fights with Sarah did not help prove that Willow was reliable or trustworthy. While both girls have called for Britnee’s head on a platter, at least with Ashleigh, she knows what she is getting.

In conclusion: Since Britnee does not get any credit for her own nominations, it actually works for her in the House of the Dim; where all logic and reasoning is replaced with flavorless bubblegum, cinnaslop and dryer lint. (This same thing can be held against her if she somehow makes it to the Final 2). Despite putting up 3 of her allies, Ashleigh is still targeting Sarah and Godfrey over Britnee. Despite backdooring Graig, Bruno still targeted Sarah and Johnny with his HOH. Whether or not you agree with her moves, Britnee comes out the other side of her HOHs with smaller targets on her back.

BRUNO: Bruno, Bruno, Bruno… (No, this is not a celebratory chant.) This guy has been all over the map, as far as who he is loyal to/willing to work with, but he cemented his choice of “Bros before Hoes” over the last week. Yes, he has gone full force against the girls with his penis leading the way. Railing against a girl alliance that never existed, he has made it pretty clear that he wants a vagina free house. Of course, with Brit not nominating him for eviction, she is likely the last girl on his hit list. (Score 1 for Brit). Contradicting myself, I actually would not be surprised if he wants Brit for the Final 2 since he, and the house, think she has not done anything that Sarah did not poison her to do. Besides, how could a girl ever beat him in the Final 2? He just needs to get there first…

Bruno has been trying to make BBCAN3 the “Battle of the Sexes” for a long time, now. Sarah’s “feministic” views, and his perception that she controls every girl in the house, have crippled him to a degree. Instead of being all in with the best people in the house, regardless of sex, he has endangered relationships with people who could have really had his back long term. In almost any other Big Brother house (not BB16 though), these moves could have and would have put a huge target on Bruno’s back from the girls in the house. But, since there is not ACTUALLY a girls’ alliance, it remains to be seen if his one-track mind hurts him. The girls did not rally together and vow to get out the guys, although they have the numbers to do so. Ultimately, this Boy vs Girl thing is really a Bruno vs Sarah thing. It remains to be seen who survives it.

In conclusion: If this was a normal week, Bruno would be 100% safe and Sarah would likely be going to the jury house – I mean, can she win anything??? – but this is not a normal week. Without the twist, Bruno’s moves had bought him at least Final 6. Unless he wins the Power of Veto, his Big Brother life can seriously be on the line. As pissed as the crowd/fans were when Bruno used the POV on Zach, it may have truly bought him another week because Zach can easily end up on the block and go out the door before him. Right now, it is a battle between Sarah fans and Sarah haters to see who they can get down into that Have Not room to battle it out over the Have Not Power. Good luck Bruno.

GODFREY: What can one say about Godfrey? Is the word “floater” too harsh for him? Sure, he has mostly been working with Bruno, but he will float to wherever power lies and pledge his eternal soul to your cause if you keep him safe. So far, this has not tripped him up in the least and he, at least, makes a boring house more interesting and enjoyable.

Houseguests, who have fallen for Godfrey’s disarmingly goofy persona, have missed out on great intel that could have potentially helped their games. In example, when he went to Kevin to tell him that he had the votes to stay in the house, Kevin did nothing with that information to attempt to save Jordan. When he told Kevin that everyone (outside of the Diapers) in the house wanted Zach and Kevin on the block, he laughed it off. Godfrey can go up to most of the people and tell them 100% of the truth and they will never believe it because it’s Godfrey; the Class Clown of BBCAN3! It remains to be seen if that is a good or bad thing. He can only be Teflon Godfrey for so long… Right?

In conclusion: If there was a Big Brother Anxiety Index, Godfrey would be on one end of it under the label NO ANXIETY, while Sarah would be on the opposite end under UNADULTURED, UNCUT, PURE ANXIETY. The fact that he does not take the game too seriously seems to work in his favor, so far. If I had to guess his choice of Final 2 Mate, it would probably be Pili because it would be much like how Andy demolished GinaMarie’s Final 2 plea to the Houseguests…

PILAR:

In Conclusion:

stare(I am sorry, but I refuse…)

SARAH: I have such a love/hate relationship with Sarah. I love a lot of her views on life. And, theoretically (theoretical because she has not won power to actually do anything), her ideas about the game, and what she WOULD do, are generally sound. Her perception is mostly on point. But, what does that matter when you are out of power and you and your allies do not win many competitions? She had two close allies and one of them routinely threw the comp because she wanted to play the middle. That’s a problem.

Sarah’s GRAVEST error, however, was not cultivating a relationship between Willow and Britnee. By actively working to drive a wedge between her allies, she ensured that they couldn’t trust one another. I get that she wanted to be #1 in both of their BB lives, but the problem with that is that, in a game like Big Brother, especially the Canadian version, you cannot risk your closest allies going for one another. You do not always have days to talk them into keeping the people you need. By keeping Britnee in the dark about Willah’s fake fights and all of the intel she got from Willow, Britnee could only go by what she did know when making her choices during the Triple. Sarah, mistakenly, believing that the guys would vote for Kevin over Willow sealed this monumental clusterfuck.

In conclusion: Though Sarah’s game play has been anxiety-inducing, and sometimes dumbfounding, her fans may be able to buy her another week in the game and a chance to redeem herself. If both she and Britnee survive this week, Sarah’s only true ally will be Britnee. This means that you need to start winning things, Sarah.

ZACH: swag

In Conclusion:

swag

Welp, that sums up how I see the remaining Houseguests. I cannot believe that I thought that this was going to be a great season of Big Brother. I cannot help to imagine that, if the 1st 6 Houseguests had remained and replaced some of the drier personalities, the season would have been what I thought all along. Between the more entertaining Houseguests either throwing comps or not able to win them timely enough, and one side controlling most of the game, the season just left much to be desired. So much that I am actually now forced to watch Big Brother 17 to get my BB fix when I just KNEW Big Brother Canada would be my replacement crack. Thanks BBCAN3 for ruining the fun for all of us!!

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2 thoughts on “Big Brother Canada 3: Final Three Weeks

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