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The Amber and Caleb Saga: When Being Friend Zoned Goes Wrong

CALEB STARES DAGGERS AT CODER.

I let you wear my hat – Why won’t you go out with me?

I spun you around in a circle as we danced together – Why won’t you go out with me?

I made you Cookie Dough ice cream, when you could not find the cookie dough – Why won’t you go out with me?

I gave you my covers while you were sleeping, and you were cold – Why won’t you go out with me?

I wear your dress like a scarf – Why won’t you go out with me?

I kidnapped your bunny slippers – Why won’t you go out with me?

I took your childhood blanket as my own  – Why won’t you go out with me?

I put myself on the block to throw the competition so that you will be safe – Why won’t you go out with me?

I PUT MY ENTIRE $500,000 GAME ON THE LINE FOR YOU!!!! WHY WON’T YOU JUST AGREE TO MARRY ME AND BECOME MINE FOR THE REST OF THIS LIFE AND ETERNITY!!??!!??

No, it does not matter that you did not ask me for any of those things, nor does it matter that you do not feel the same way. I done what I done, and now YOU.OWE.ME!

::blinks::

Is it just me, or does Caleb comes across as that guy at the club who thinks that you owe him AT LEAST a blowjob because he generously offered to buy you an eight dollar alcoholic beverage? Yo babe, I bought that cocktail for you; now, go ahead and turn around so that I can introduce my cock to your tail!!

The fact of the matter is that male entitlement has inundated the Big Brother 16 house; their primary objective: Get every female evicted before they cannibalize one another. (Sorry Christine, this means you, too!) While, as a woman, this frustrates me to no end, I have come to accept that this season, like many other seasons of Big Brother, will be male dominated. The men are only doing what they have been allowed to do. It is strategy. It is game.

While playing the game is completely acceptable, what is going on with Caleb, and his obsession with Amber, has nothing to do with game and everything to do with the fact that he feels entitled to her. He has deemed her worthy of being with him; a suitable Queen for the King. The problem? Amber “refuses” to see it. She just will not see it, damnit!!

For three weeks, we have watched as Caleb has made a natural fool out of himself. The night the feeds came up, we listened to him talk for hours about Amber to anyone who would listen. Night one, we listened to him tell people that Amber was the perfect girl for him, that he wanted to introduce her to his family. NIGHT ONE. This, after only a week of knowing her!!

Feedsters’ general overall consensus: “This man is obsessed… and, we thought GinaMarie was bad!” Hell, I even called him Caleb Marie for a while!

Anyway…

As time went on, his obsession and feelings of entitlement, did not abate. They only got stronger as he worked overtime to make Amber see that he is the perfect guy. For a solid week, almost every conversation Caleb had was about Amber. We listened as he spun her every action into the most favorable outcome.

She does not sit with me because she does not want people to think we are a showmance.

She leaves the room two minutes after I arrive because she does not want people to think we are a showmance.

She does not talk to me because she does not want people to think we are a showmance.

She does not touch me because she does not want people to think we are a showmance.

She does not play around with me because she does not want people to think we are a showmance.

But… She does LOOK at me sometimes; a clear sign of interest!

::head meets wall::

What is worse is that the house has only played up Amber’s interest in Caleb. They entertained his every thought and theory about Amber and encouraged his feelings. Lies such as Hayden’s, where he told Caleb that Amber said she would go out on a date with him, when Amber actually made it clear to Hayden that she was not interested in Caleb, only added fuel to his already out control fire.

The only person who has come close to getting Caleb to see that Amber is just not that into him is Devin. Devin’s way of making him see the light was really just all about him bashing Amber, however. At the end of that conversation, Caleb came to the conclusion that Amber was only using him. Yes, a woman, who never talked to him and left the room every time he entered, was using him.bb16-photo-booth-07-amber-caleb

For almost 24 hours, Caleb complained to anyone within earshot about how Amber was using him. He was angry, seething with rage, that she would suggest that he was self centered and that she would really be more attracted to Devin. While unclear on whether or not Amber actually called Caleb self centered – she said she did not – one thing that did come from that is the first real talk she and Caleb had had on camera since the feeds came up. They “made up,” and started to talk more to one another. Score one for Caleb!

What distresses me, almost as much as Caleb’s obsession, is that many viewers have also turned on Amber for rejecting him. I mean, why wouldn’t a woman want a man who seeks to control her every move? How can you not just swoon for a guy who has said that he wants all of your friends/allies out of the picture so that he can have you all to himself? What woman would not get at least MOIST for a man who says, jokingly of course, that he wants to sock you in the face for saying something he disagrees with? I don’t know about you, but I am especially turned on by a man who tells me that I am not mentally strong and who make disparaging comments in the guise of, “Haha, I’m just keeding!” Especially when that man can also kill a hog with nothing more than a stick and his bare hands! I mean, how is that NOT true love???

Come on guys!! If you were paying attention, you will see that Caleb exhibits many of the hallmarks of a man who is, at the least, mentally and emotionally abusive in relationships. No woman should want that. Any woman who does will only prove to be a woman who lacks any and all self worth.

A personal KraziliaLove Sidebar: I grew up in a household where my father was emotionally abusive to my mother. A few days ago it hit me just how much Caleb reminds me of my dad, ego and all. Of course, I cannot say with all certainty that Caleb is abusive in relationships, only that he reminds me very much of my dad.

Moving on…

There are people out there who will have Amber change who she is, all to not send BeastMode Psycho into a tailspin. These people, essentially, would have Amber completely controlled by Caleb and just accept that he wants her – they want her to submit; to just give in. Be damned, her feelings!

I hate to break it to you ladies but, the moment you cannot be yourself around a man is the moment you should realize that that man is not for you. True love does not mean that your wants and desires are dismissed and plays second fiddle to your man’s wants and desires. If that is the life you are leading, I pity you. I do.

Now, to be fair, a lot of people may not watch Live Feeds and last night was the first time all season that Caleb has truly gotten the stalker-edit. My comments are not for them. Live feeders should know better, however. These people don’t take into account that Amber has not seen or heard 1/10 of what the public has.

The game forced Caleb into game mode for a while – at least in terms of what he talked about with his fellow houseguests. The fact that Amber felt bad for rejecting him, and was trying to give him the time of day to make him feel better, also kept his talks with others, about her, at bay. But, now, after putting himself on the block and not receiving the desired outcome (namely, a clear declaration of intent to date after they leave the house), he is fed up. That means it is time to talk people’s ears off about Amber again.

Fuck Amber – She’s dead to me!

Amber – who told him not to volunteer to go on the block/not throw the competition – did not give Caleb what he wanted. There was no dropping of the panties, no swooning, and no profuse show of gratitude. To top it off, Amber has been much more touchy-feely with Cody than him. His ego can simply no longer take the hits. He has decided that Amber is now an enemy. Again. But – STILL – even when he is MAD at her, he continues to talk about taking her out after the show. THIIIR….STY!!!!

I SEE YOU!

Everything Caleb has ever done for Amber in that house has been about getting something from her in return. He will have us all believe that he does these things because he is genuinely a nice person, but a person who is genuinely nice does things for others just because. It is not so that they will get something in return. In Caleb’s world, that concept is foreign and he does not realize that that is one of the things that would turn a girl like Amber off! #ironied

At the end of the day, all and all, it is what it is. (Yes, I did that on purpose.) Amber’s game was put on life support the minute that Caleb laid eyes on her at the airport and prayed to God that she would be in the house with him. Obsessed at first sight, he was. It was not until the last few nights that Amber really got a glimpse into the craziness that is Crayleb. I think it is hitting her that he has no intention of letting any of this go and that he has entirely irrational expectations of her.

Caleb’s aggressiveness finally prompted Amber to ask Jocasta, and a couple others, for advice on breaking the news to Caleb, that “I just DO NOT feel the same way!” Jocasta told her to be straight forward – Donny just wanted to know when she was going to tell him so that he would be asleep at the time. For now, it looks as if Cody has talked her out of saying anything at all to protect her game. What is twisted is that, even though Cody wants her to delay telling him for his own selfish reasons, Caleb is/was probably the only person remaining in the house that would side with Amber. The problem is that it comes with too steep of a price.

I mean… I truly believe that if Caleb thought that forcing Amber to take his blood would win her affection, he would tie her down and have her hooked up to an Caleb Bood IV Drip!Yes, this is a reference to True Blood. He wants Amber to say, “I belong to Caleb. I am his human.”

Caleb wants Amber like a prized possession to show off to the world. Look what I done caught! Much to his chagrin, he cannot shoot, skin, behead and hang her head from a mounted plaque on his living room wall like he can with a deer. At least, not without the authorities getting involved…

I have said that I feel like it is almost negligent for production not to warn Amber about Caleb’s obsession. There are times that I truly do feel anxious over the way he behaves. Hopefully, when he leaves the house his family will be able to cushion the blow once reality slaps him in the face and he sees that the majority of viewers – especially live feeders – regard him as a conceited stalker who should be committed to somebody’s psych ward. That is just partially a joke. I really do want him to get help. Sadly, I don’t think the narcissistic side of him will allow it.

At any rate, in the coming days/weeks, we will see how everything unfolds as the Amber and Caleb Saga continues. I hate the idea of Amber leaving before him, but it is likely to happen because that is just how these things tend play out. I just hope that his dream of having her alone in the Jury House does not come true. I shudder to think…

Well, that is it for me! Perhaps if I actually blogged more often, this post would not be 4 Word pages long. If you are still reading – I appreciate ya! See ya in the livefeeds room and on the twitter!

If you are not following me, it is @KraziliaLove! Hope to see you there.

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3 thoughts on “The Amber and Caleb Saga: When Being Friend Zoned Goes Wrong

  1. I just read this and then the article from BB 15 about Aaryn and narcissistic personality disorder. Caleb has EVERY SINGLE trait. He has a serious problem. You should add that here. It is almost frightening when you start down the list…

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