It’s a trend, by now… All of the tweets that end up being long enough to be blog entries. ::sighs::
The entry below as a response to @delon03’s open letter to GinaMarie.
Excellent letter to the #BB15 cast! I will be the first to admit that I also made a lot of comments “beneath my character” in the thick of the most offensive comments made by the likes of GM, Aaryn, Spencer and Amanda. Mostly because I felt powerless and I wanted them to hurt as much as hearing the things that they said hurt me. Of course, they couldn’t actually read what I was saying, but logic is a stranger to anger!
Yes, I could have turned off the live feeds but, in a way, Candice began to represent me and I felt like I needed to be there for her as a “witness” to what she was going through. If we all would have turned off live feeds, we would not be able to sit here now and speak out against “The Offenders” atrocious behavior. Also, as a black female who is used to having every stereotype under the sun applied to me due to nothing other than my skin tone and sex, it was painful watching Candice have that done to her. I didn’t want to feel like I was abandoning her.
I have said it a few times before, but I’ll say it again… There were nights when I legitimately could not sleep, watching how Candice was treated by almost the ENTIRE house. I cried the night of the bed flipping incident, but I also cried when people isolated Candice. These people had everyone scared to even be seen talking to her. There were days when Candice would just go to sleep because, when she entered a room, people would find excuses to leave. Even when she was a have not, and having to sleep on those uncomfortable airplane seats, she did that. It would always upset me when people complained about her sleeping all the time because I knew it was a defense mechanism. Besides, she’s better than me. I would have left.
I hate to say it, but I was relieved when Candice was finally evicted because I was afraid of how being treated so poorly was affecting her mental wellbeing. It was painful, to me, that she had to be evicted wearing Aaryn’s Clownitard (especially since Aaryn thought that it was some kind of “karma” for Candice being so “horrible” in her eyes), but I LOVED how Candice refused to let it bother her! She is SUCH a strong woman. People like to call Amanda strong, but there is nothing about Amanda that epitomizes what it means to be a strong woman. If I had a daughter, CANDICE would be the type of woman I would want her to look up to.
It took time, but I eventually got to the point where I was able to just laugh at “The Offenders” and I even started to write a little satire about them. It’s impossible for me to make fun of the bigoted things they said, because it definitely hits too close to home, but fortunately, with this lot, it is easy to find other things to make fun of!
I have never full out made fun of GM’s illiteracy, because it’s just sad that she is as old as she is and can’t spell “couldn’t.” But, I admit, it’s hard to leave that out of the satiric pieces because her lack of intelligence is on display anytime she opens her mouth. I also admit that I “cound’t” feel bad when she came out of HOH crying because she couldn’t “spell good.” If she was a good person, I would have been crying with her, because… well, as you can probably tell by now, I’m a crier. LOL
In the end, I hope that all of “The Offenders” have people in their lives who will give it to them straight. I am not very hopeful of that because this kind of ignorance tends to be bred at home and close minded people tend not to have close friends from backgrounds that differ from theirs. I don’t think, for instance, that GM will have anyone who will sit her down and explain to her why calling (black) people “niggers” is wrong and how hurtful it is.
What upsets me is that there have so many people saying, “But they’ve already apologized! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?” Well, I wrote a blog entry about how to give a sincere apology, but I may have to edit it to add the following:
An apology is more than saying, “I’m sorry.” None of the houseguests have acknowledged that they understand why people view them as bigots. They are, “Sorry IF,” they offended, but they aren’t “Sorry THAT,” they offended. In other words, they are sorry that we took what they said offensively, not that they were offensive. The apology also can’t be “narcissistically-tinged.” I don’t want to hear GM go on and on about how she is a positive, fun-loving person with a big heart because her own words have already greatly contradicted that. At that point, it’s time for me to stop listening because I know whatever follows is also going to be bullshit.
An apology that would showcase that GM understands the public’s outrage would look something like this:
“During my time in the Big Brother house, I ignorantly said many racially insensitive things. In my ignorance, I did not think about how my words would impact the millions of people who tune in to watch Big Brother each summer, nor did I consider the impact it would have on my family and friends outside of the house, nor the Big Brother family, at large. I realize, now, that when I called Candice a crackbaby (because she’s biracial) and said that her mother didn’t love her, those words did not only hurt Candice and her family, but they also hurt anyone who has ever made the heart wrenching decision to place a child up for adoption and every child who has been placed for adoption. Especially minority children. Those comments did not have anything to do with playing the game of Big Brother, and for that, I would like to offer my heartfelt apologies to Candice, her family and anyone else upset by what I said. Furthermore, my use of the ‘N’ word is not acceptable under any circumstances. I am sorry that my behavior played such a big part in making Big Brother 15 an unpleasant experience for many of my fellow houseguests, as well as Big Brother viewers. I hope that in time I can make up for my behavior and earn back the respect that I lost by my own actions. Thank you for hearing me out.”
Of course, she would have to GM-ize the above, but you get the gist! LOL.
The point is that none of them have actually apologized. They are more concerned with fighting off the label of “racist” than acknowledging that they understand why people believe that they are racist. Then again, it’s probably hard to acknowledge something that you honestly can’t comprehend. I’m actually kind of surprised that Aaryn’s PR people didn’t have something like the above prepared for Aaryn right when she got out of the house. They clearly aren’t of the Olivia Pope caliber! #justsaying
So… I did it again, guys. I took a simple tweet and turned it into a full-fledged blog, article thingy. Clearly, I missed my calling in life.