Sometimes when I am on the Twitter, I get engaged in these conversations that feel like they take 2000 texts to complete. That’s when I have to take to the twitlonger and just hammer out what I am saying. Problem. I am so long winded that I somehow doubt that the person I am talking to even completely reads the “tweet.” (I mean, can a 4000+ character tweet REALLY be called a “tweet” anymore? It’s more like a bird song complete with 4 verses, a bridge and a chorus!)
I got into a debate over whether or not Aaryn would actually learn anything from her actions in the house, and the way that the public is reacting to it. Obviously, the person I was debating with believes that she can and that she has ALREADY changed from who she was. I totally disagree – especially after watching her interview in which she threw shade to the modeling agencies that dropped her, saying that they weren’t so great anyway, and that she has six interviews tomorrow with six other agencies. Come on, now Aaryn, Is it really the time for that? Right now, you are hearing that your bigoted antics made national headlines, but you want to talk about how your modeling agencies weren’t all that good in the first place? OF COURSE, they had to drop you, Aaryn, because being connected to you is TOXIC for their business!
But, I digress….
Below is the response that I made to the gentleman on twitter. (He is a nice guy!)
I agree with you FULLY about why Aaryn is the way that she is. It is abundantly clear that she has grown up in an environment that promoted bigoted stereotypes. It’s just a hunch, but I have a feeling that that is why her parents refused to sign any releases that would allow Aaryn, or the show, to talk about them. So, my disagreement with you isn’t in regards to where Aaryn’s narrow minded beliefs come from. Bigotry is bred at home. When Aaryn said that her father would blame the HGs being “too PC” for her being evicted over “the queer,” it pretty much confirmed that.
What I disagree with you about is Aaryn’s mental and emotional capacity to empathize with others. I do, truly, believe that Aaryn is a narcissist, and that doesn’t have to do with her bigoted comments, alone. Just based upon how she handled conflict in the house, in general, you could see glimpses of her true narcissistic personality.
For instance… Aaryn could not actually see things from other people’s perspective. Ever. For a conflict to be “resolved,” it pretty much meant that you had to drop it. Also, she could never admit to doing anything wrong in the house.
Another thing is that, if you listened to the conversations she had with people, she always made it about her. As an example, if someone was telling her a story about their lives or an event, she would turn that story around to be about her OR, if she could not make it about her, she showed little to no interest or changed the subject. In having conversations, most people show interest towards the person they are conversing with. They will ask follow up questions about their experiences, etc, but Aaryn rarely did that.
Keeping it real, it doesn’t really take a genius to realize that, when you say something hurtful, it’s going to HURT people! lol. But, Aaryn was COMPLETELY oblivious to this, UNLESS – of course – someone was saying something mean (or something that she perceived to be mean) about her. And, even when those mean things weren’t half as bad of the stuff she said, she had a very hard time letting it go. People with empathy can take those situations, recognize how it made them feel, and then APPLY it to how they treat others. I don’t see Aaryn having the ability to do that, again, based upon the traits of narcissism she showcased in the house. I can almost bet that Aaryn will turn herself into a victim of people being too politically correct, at some point. Will she say that in front of the press? I don’t know, and that’s why I can’t absolutely bet that she will do that – no proof, yo! lol But, that would be keeping in line with the person she was all summer. 100%.
Finally, during the time where Aaryn was being nicer in the house, she wanted recognition for it. In one conversation with Judd she actually said that people should be giving her credit for being nicer. She also made comments about how hard it is for her to be nice and how being nice was pointless because she still ended up on the block, etc. She was so relieved when she had the green light to going back to being bitchy again, because most of the people who had a problem with it were out of the house.
Being a good person should not be a chore, but for Aaryn, it clearly is. If you are genuinely a good person, in your heart, you aren’t looking for people to reward you for it. It’s either who you are, or it isn’t.
The above is why I have a hard time believing that, after a few weeks, and watching “The Help,” Aaryn has completely had an about face and personality overhaul that would truly allow her to get the gravity of her actions. I believe that this is all about saving a career that she would LOVE to have in the limelight. In short (lol), I find it all to be quite disingenuous.
Again, all of this is JUST MY OPINION.
So… are you even still reading? 😀 Sorry, I have this thing about observing human behavior. It’s a pastime of mine and I REALLY should have been a psychologist. Ironically, Aaryn DID go to school for psychology! She needs a course on introspection, perhaps…
Anyway, if you DID read all of this, I commend your patience and hope that it explains why I feel the way that I do. It’s not just an opinion I’ve developed on a whim or because I am mad at her. I’ve actually thought about this in great depth… as you can see! LMAO.
Does the following sound familiar?
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they’re superior to others and have little regard for other people’s feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.
Narcissistic personality disorder is one of several types of personality disorders. Personality disorders are conditions in which people have traits that cause them to feel and behave in socially distressing ways, limiting their ability to function in relationships and in other areas of their life, such as work or school.
Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
Believing that you’re better than others
Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
Exaggerating your achievements or talents
Expecting constant praise and admiration
Believing that you’re special and acting accordingly
Failing to recognize other people’s emotions and feelings
Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
Taking advantage of others
Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
Being jealous of others
Believing that others are jealous of you
Trouble keeping healthy relationships
Setting unrealistic goals
Being easily hurt and rejected
Having a fragile self-esteem
Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional
Yup… I already know what you are thinking. That sounds like Amanda (and Andy!), too…. #justsaying