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The Game of Paul Abrahamian: How Big Brother Artificially Crafted its Next Mastermind

Big Brother 19’s Paul Abrahamian instructing his minions to minionite, or something. (probably)

I sit here today with a heaviness in my heart. A darkness, of which I have never felt before, clings to the very fabric of my soul… and I fear that, no matter how many years I have left on this god forsaken earth, it shall never leave me. It is a cruel, insidious darkness. A darkness that slowly crept upon me as BB days turned into BB weeks and BB weeks turned into BB months thereafter…

I can no longer ignore it, as its presence lingers all around me… Winding its cold, cruel tendrils through every nerve in my body (which is how you get Raven’s Disease, by the way) a chilling emptiness has settled upon my glistening, mahogany skin. Every time I take to the mean, gritty streets of BB Twitter, every time I linger my finger over my mouse button, daring myself to double click the BBViewer icon on my desktop, every time my phone notifies me that Ika Wong or Karen Singbeil have gone live on the Gram (glowing beacons of what Big Brother can be), a heavy soul crushing bleakness all but snuffs out BB Life’s Essence… It is there, taunting me, reminding me that even the most tragic of injustices cannot eclipse the fact that…

… I will no longer be able to say that Derrick Levastadalickakahhaha played with the dumbest cast of lint for brains houseguests in Big Brother history…

Is this what the future of Big Brother looks like?

We have known for a long time that the Big Brother of yesteryear was snuffed out and quietly replaced by a copycat, doppelganger that LOOKS

Big Brother 19’s Jillian Somebody

like Big Brother, but isn’t really Big Brother… BB is much like Avril Lavigne in that way. But even by that standard, this season felt off from the second I saw the swimsuit photos, where many of the HGs looked like parodies of themselves, as if they were told to take a goofy shot just to warm up and then that picture was used. It was like the opening to Bachelor in Paradise. Campy. I knew then that someone would not make it out of the house alive… and that was before I learned about all of Raven’s terminal illnesses!!! While there were no actual, real life deaths in the house, many will leave the house, see how they are regarded by the fandom for their behavior and horrible gameplay, and wish they would have died.

(To Josh’s credit, he did try to make my, “Someone is gonna die in the Big Brother house this summer,” death prediction come true no fewer than three times by way of Mark, Cody, and Kevin… Good looking out, meatball!!)

hit mark josh
That one time, at Big Brother 19 Summer Camp, when we all thought that Mark was going to MURDERIZE Josh!!

Jokes aside… You probably can tell from the title of this blog post that this is not going to be a pro Paul blog, therefore, if you are a Paul stan or fan, but ESPECIALLY a stan, you are not going to like what I have to say.  However, I want to say from the start that I am not saying that Paul is not the best player this season. I am not saying that, if he ends up in the F2, that he should not win the whole thing. I am also not saying that Paul is a bad Big Brother player. He showed us last year that he is quick on his feet, that he knows when to “pivot” when things are not going his way, and that he is fearless when it comes to enacting any plans that he comes up with.

I am not even saying that if Paul played with smarter people, who were more motivated to win the whole thing, that he would not have made it to the end. He would not have made it to the end playing the same game he played this summer, of course, but I do think that it is possible that he is smart enough to figure it out. To be clear, I do not think that Paul had the brightest competition last season, either. Nicole did not outplay him, production did… Which is kind of ironic given that this blog is about how Paul was set up to win before the game even really got started. Haha!

Paul grins at Derrick, one “Mastermind” to another, as a member of production looks on.

Like it or not, it is hard to fully credit someone for their BB accomplishments when much of it was handed to them on a silver platter. Much like with Derrick’s BB16 game, I will have to place an asterisk next to Paul’s win. (If he wins.) Did both men win with great strategies? (If Paul wins.) Yes. But, they also both played Big Brother with the setting on ‘Easy.’ And when you win any game with the setting on ‘Easy’ it is hard to brag about it and you certainly do not expect to be praised for it.

The “New” Big Brother

Today’s Big Brother edit is almost 100% a fairy tale. The only parts that are typically accurate are who won which competition and who is put up for nomination. The motives for the nominations are oftentimes completely fabricated, as well. This makes the edited show pointless in terms of showcasing what is actually happening in the house. Even DRs are pointless because people will just say what production want them to say or think they want them to say, which is not at all what may be true in the house. We used to be able to glean a player’s actual motives and gameplay in the Diary Room… But some players try to play the audience right along with the people in the house. (Hi Derrick!) Yes, this is a “reality show” and all reality shows take liberties with the edit to make it “more interesting…” The thing about Big Brother is that they typically do not actually need to take these liberties, there is usually enough drama to sustain the entertainment value. So, why do they insist on editing the shows completely out of context?

There is something about the edit and the caliber of today’s Big Brother players that tends to go hand in hand. It is quite obvious that there are always people who are cast who do not have a chance in hell of winning. Either they are not intelligent enough, strategic enough, do not have the temperament or personality to launch a successful social game, do not have the drive/motivation to win, are far too immature or petty, and/or do not fit in due to race, age, body type, etc. There are a lot of BB archetypes that are not meant to win, but are simply meant to fulfill a certain stereotype/role for entertainment purposes. Ratings show that this is suitable for the casual audience, but it diminishes the quality of the gameplay greatly, which has a negative impact on the live feeds. (By the way, production does not care about live feeders! ::said in Kanye’s post-Katrina voice::)

As the years have gone on, fewer and fewer people are cast to be winners, and typically you can tell who they are by just listening to them talk. Having people clueless about how to play Big Brother is often very fun, but you cannot have a cast of people who are virtually clueless about how to play the game, with only ONE or TWO people who actually know how to play AND want to win… Not if you want to have a competitive season. That is like setting up a basketball tournament with a bunch of high school FOOTBALL players and putting them in the tournament against professional BASKETBALL players. (You know, because they are all athletes, so what’s the difference?) Will there be moments of amusement as the pros run circles around their amateur opponents? Sure. Will this lead to a competitive tournament? Absolutely not. This tells us that the goal isn’t to produce a competitive game.


Then you have the element of casting people who think that they will become famous. These people are playing for instagram followers. This season, there seemed to be many more people in the house who wanted to use Big Brother as a platform, springing board to other opportunities, than to actually win the game. Dominique, Whistlefuck, Kevin, Elena, Raven, plus more openly spoke about the opportunities (and money from strangers, in the case of Raven) that they hoped to get from being on Big Brother. While people have always said they “just want to make jury,” in hopes of making themselves look like less of a threat, these HG’s actual goals were “making jury.” Making jury gave them more money and more TV time. That is where their in-game ambitions ended. And you can tell that they were not much more ambitious than this because the only people we saw campaigning, while OTB, were Cody (his second time in the house) and Mark. And, when was the last time there was an, “OMG!! I MADE JURY!!” segment on the show? Has that ever happened? (Prediction: This “we made jury” segment is going to be production’s new favorite thing to show new recruits in pre-game sequester.)

The question is why create a game where the competition is stacked in the favor of one or two people? Because it is easier to manipulate the outcome that production wants.

I have always felt like shows like America’s Top Model and Project Runway all but know who they are going to select for AT LEAST the top 3, if not who they are likely going to crown the winner, long before the actual competition starts. I do not see Big Brother as operating much differently. As recently as last year, we heard Victor talking about how production did not want him to nominate Paulie the week that Paulie was evicted. If Victor was less ambitious, it is possible that production would have been able to sway his decision. If you cast the right people and create an environment where those players can tangibly see how being in production’s favor benefits them, you can better dictate the direction of the game. Too many independent thinkers are harder to control.


(Most of) Big Brother 19’s Cast: “Oh yea, we are here to lose, baby!”

We are in an era of BB where there will be that one obviously anointed winner against a bunch of people who couldn’t strategize their way out of a wet paper bag. (I still think that was Paulie last season before he ruined it by being himself.) These dunces tend to be petty, focused on the wrong things and are incapable of letting go of stupid, minute grudges to further their own games… Yes, I am talking about Alex and her cat ears, coke, cereal and pillows. Cody couldn’t let go of his issues with Mark, upon returning to the house. Jessica thought she was the only one who should be allowed to wear bandannas… Jason hated Dominique because her bible was too new for how religious she claimed to be. (side eye) Kevin wished he could grab Dominique out of the bedroom she was sleeping in by the neck and throw her out, for some reason. (side eye) And, also, Raven.

Anytime this cast of gummy worms for brains idiots decided they needed to look like they were actually “playing Big Brother,” they found a petty reason to attack someone.  Yes, that gave us drama on the feeds, but not the kind of drama that you typically “feel good” about because, typically, it was one or two people being ganged up on by a group of people. Even in the Bad Girls Club house “jumping people” is frowned up on and the audience will drag for filth. People were verbally jumped for weeks this summer, often over nonsense.

I know every year we proclaim, “THIS WAS THE WORST SEASON EVER,” and people think that means we will never be satisfied. Big Brother Canada 5 is a perfect example of how that is not true. BBCan4 was the pits and BBCan3 was only marginally better (for me.) That did not automatically mean that BBCan5 was going to be deemed a horrible season just because the previous ones were not as good. That is not how it works. Even when Canada’s version of Matt won the whole thing (Sorry Kevin fans, I gotta get in a dig lulz), BBCan5 was a great season.

In the case of BBCan5, they cast enough headstrong people to make the game itself interesting/entertaining. Neda’s eviction was one of the best Big Brother episodes I have ever seen.  Big Brother Canada managed to cast a season with vets without losing its entertainment value and there were people in the house smart enough to get rid of the person who was gifted safety until Jury, as soon as they were eligible. Big Brother 19 actually made me feel a lot better about how Big Brother Canada 5 turned out. While the winner was not my choice, I at least enjoyed the season. With Big Brother 19, I have not enjoyed most of this mess. I am the type of person that likes balance. Give me drama, but also please give me good gameplay. If one or the other is lacking, the entertainment value suffers.

The truth is that Big Brother USA GAMEPLAY has been in a decline over the last several seasons, so the seasons are actually progressively getting worse. As horrible as the houseguests were, on a human level, season 15 was the last season where we had some pretty decent gameplay. (Vanessa and Steve allow BB17 to get somewhat of an honorable mention, but their opposition was James and Meg. MEG who was never right about anything, ever. Not even her lipstick color… I know what you are thinking, at least it was not as bad as Raven’s. Touche!)

Big Brother 19’s Raven Walton scares small children… er I mean talks at Cody.

I do not believe that production is made up of a group idiots. It is not that they cannot make the gameplay more competitive and interesting by casting people who want to win and are actually intelligent enough to do so. It is that they do not want to. Their concern is not gameplay. Their concern is whatever story they want to feed America for the summer. This summer’s storyline was, “Robbed Friendship-King Paul: Back for Redemption.”

Big Brother 19’s Paul: “I buy my own bullshit!” (not a real quote, but definitely a lifestyle.)

Obviously, production wanted to take advantage of Paul’s popularity within the BB fanbase, both casual fans and live feeders alike. He has a dynamic love him or hate him persona. (I both loved and hated Paul equally last year.) As a result of Paul’s return to the BB house, we got to watch as production artificially crafted him into “Big Brother’s Next Great Mastermind” by way of giving him this particular cast and twists that almost all ultimately benefited him in the long run. Even the way they implemented the Tree of Temptation benefited Paul, as there was no risk of the tree impacting his game since it had to be used prior to nominations. This set up stripped away everything fans loved about Paul’s game the first time around. Watching him scramble and talk people into giving him his way, and actually having to WORK for it, is what made fans appreciate his game. For me, his personality was always incredibly obnoxious, but I respected his overall gameplay.

Paul walked into the Big Brother 19 house with every advantage a returning veteran can possibly hope for.

First, he walked in as himself; a very popular houseguest from the LAST summer season of Big Brother with a very large fanbase.

He walked in as an authority figure; someone who had gone through the process before and could “teach” the newbies the ropes.

He walked in as almost an extension of production; where people almost did not even regard him as someone that could be nominated. (Oh, and just in case they DID want to nominate him? Let’s give his very large fanbase the opportunity to protect him for three weeks!)

Add in Friendship Bracelets, which allowed Paul the opportunity to build rapport with everyone in the house, what kind of psychological effect does that have on everyone else in the game?

Production gave Paul Friendship Bracelets.  

America gave Paul three weeks of safety.

What is the best way to ingratiate yourself with production? With America? By ingratiating yourself with Paul.

It is not as if production did not know that the popular guy, with the established fan base, was going to win a vote against 14 other people who would split any votes that did not go to him. Telling the HGs that AMERICA wanted PAUL to be safe was akin to telling the HGs that AMERICA WILL BE MAD AT YOU if you evict Paul. This is not a position an attention seeking, fame whore wants to be in. They NEED people to like them. They wanted America to give them a power, too, and when Christmas won the next temptation, being Team Paul seemed to be the way to go.

Is it possible that Paul would have still dominated the house without all of the advantages that production gave him, including casting him with fans and at least one fan who had met him prior to the season? Sure! Anything is possible… but that is not the game that we are left to judge, is it?

Paul’s only real opposition of the season was from the showmantic duo, Jody. Hardly a formidable pairing. One half of Jody has no real ability to connect with people on a human level and only lights up when talking about killing, rioting, and dead puppies, which is just scary. Horrible social game. The other half of Jody is mean spirited, petty, entitled and used to getting her way based on the power of simply existing on the planet – aka, not actually working for it. What kind of opposition were they going to mount? Especially given that neither of them had the basic BB intellect to use any of their power wisely – and they had plenty of power.

Paul’s Gameplay

With that foundation for Paul to build his game upon, BB19 has 100% been his game to lose. His gameplay has a multitude of flaws that would typically tank his chances of winning the whole thing, but in this new era of Big Brother, where one’s road to Mastermind Mountain is production-paved in gold, it probably will not matter. Just like Nicole’s nonexistent jury management did not matter last season.

Let’s face it. Technically, Paul has had a horrible social game on both of his seasons. This season, his time in the house was one massive power trip where he treated people like they were beneath him, ordered them around, talked to them like he was their semi-emotionally abusive father – regardless of how much older they are than him – and commanded that they followed all of his plans. He dictated who was allowed to speak to one another. He orchestrated group attacks, right down to running lines so that people said just the right thing. Yes, this was a great tactic to get people to hate one another, and they all were fools for letting it happen, but let’s not act like just anyone, even with the same, general overall personality, could ever do that. A newbie, with an all newbie cast, would not even make it to jury treating people the way Paul did. He knew that people did not want to be on his bad side… because if so, “Homie’s America” (as he referred to BB fans) would punish them. (Yes, Jessica won one of the temptations, but at that point the perception in the house had already been cemented in people’s minds. And perception is reality.)

If Paul had been the one to blindside his entire alliance, the way that Cody did, I am confident that he would have survived the fallout. Paul could have said, “I blindsided you fools for your own best interest,” and they would have eaten it up. Would that have been because of his gameplay? Or would that be the power of being a BB-Celebrity with production and America on your side? It is hard, if not impossible, to separate the two.

Big Brother 19’s Alex: “PAUL WILL NEVER BETRAY ME, because… FRIENDSHIP!!”

Paul had the advantage of having a previous season’s reputation to fall back on, that is something no one else in the house had. This element made several people in the house feel as if they “knew” Paul. For instance, Alex’s trust in Paul was rooted in her belief that Paul would not want to ruin his brand of “friendship” that he created the previous season, therefore he would not double cross her. She felt so strongly in this that anytime Whistlefuck would express any concerns, she shot them down. That does not have anything to do with what Paul was currently doing in the house. As stupid as Alex was for believing this, it still does not change the fact that something, that happened outside of the current game, had an impact on her decision making and created a blind spot that ultimately led to her downfall. (Luckily for Alex, this cements part one of her two part plan to win Big Brother… Now, she just needs to be invited back to complete part two. That way she can win and become the next Nicole!)

Again, all of this is not to say that I see Paul is a bad player. He is a smart player. He is a smart player who got to play with a bunch of advantages and a bunch of idiotic, petty fame whores this time around, though. And as smart as he is, his game still has a lot of flaws. Flaws that may have been remedied if he had watched a few older seasons of BB to figure out how to set up his endgame for the win. But, Paul isn’t really a Big Brother fan. He is a fan of the attention he gets from a game that he naturally excels at because there are few lines he is unwilling the cross.

Paul’s Flaws

Flaw 1 – Social Game Just because people were too scared to speak out against how he spoke to them, it does not mean that they did not notice it. Paul is basically that cult leader who woos people by promising them peace, tranquility and, of course, friendship, but flogs them out back for any perceived slights. Does anyone think that Kevin did not have an issue with the way that Paul talked to him? Even Josh got tired of it. But, with his “status” in the house, Paul was able to get away with it.

Flaw 2 – Jury Management This is perhaps the most baffling area of his game. He literally was in some kind of alliance with everyone in the jury up until it was time for them to be evicted (except Cody, of course). The jury is full of his former allies. Does he think that they will not compare notes about how they were played against each other? Ratt and Jalex were sent out back to back by Paul telling each duo to target the other. Only Ratt is still delusional enough to think that Paul was really true to their Final 3 alliance. (Raven’s Disease – aka Delusions of Grandeur –  strikes again!! Thankfully, it is only contagious if she gives you head.)

Flaw 3 – Not Taking Responsibility  This flaw goes hand in hand with Flaw 2. Paul’s plan has been to admit to absolutely nothing and to send each of his faux allies into jury claiming that he has no earthly idea how they were evicted. “If you were evicted, both of us were boned and I have no clue what is going on!!” This looks really bad next to Josh stating that he, Christmas and Paul are in a F3 alliance… It will look even worse when Kevin is the next to join them and the F3 is actually the F3 that Josh told them about.

You cannot deny your game when virtually every decision in the house was ran through you, and it has been that way all game! Unless one has Raven’s Disease, it is clear to see who the puppet master has been all season – the person telling everyone what to do. A truthful Paul at least has the chance to gain respect, but if he continues to lie, even in the Final 2, the message will be that he does not respect them enough to come clean AND that he really thinks that the jury is THAT dumb that they do not see what he did. Paul has created a very, very bitter jury. This is not a group of people that you want to continue to blatantly lie and condescend to when the truth is plain to see.

Flaw 4 – Final 2 Speech Paul’s planned speech, as of now, is flat out comical. Instead of taking the time to own his game decisions, he plans to outline how the odds have been stacked against him since he walked through the doors. Yes, the man who walked in as a Fan Favorite, who was given Friendship Bracelets, who America chose to protect for three weeks, who never had to fight to stay off the block or stay in the house, who did not have to work hard to get people to go along with his plans, no matter how ludicrous they were or how much it would hurt their own games, plans to tell the jurors that the road to the finale was practically insurmountable, but still, he overcame!! That is a better speech for last year’s game when it was much more true. Was Paul smart to take advantage of all of these things to the best of his ability? Absolutely. But that doesn’t mean it was hard. Because it wasn’t. Was Paul in game mode from the second he walked into the house? Absolutely. But, he needs to imagine doing what he did while actually being a target in danger of eviction, while actually needing to win competitions to stay safe, while actually having to talk the HOH out of putting him on the block etc. That would be a hard game! But, if you can go into the HOH competition at Final 7 and tell everyone to throw HOH – AND THEY DO IT – you are playing Big Brother with the setting on Easy, my friend. That is not just social game.

The struggle with giving Paul kudos for this year’s gameplay is that most people would do well with these particular advantages. Would they do as well? Maybe, maybe not. Paul is very effective at abusing power. Not all people are comfortable or cut out for that. At the same time, it is also hard to say that, as one of the only people who actually played the game from Day 1, that he shouldn’t win. Still, it is a real possibility that jury ends up being his blind spot, yet again. It was leaked that the only people in jury, so far, who plan to vote for Paul in the F2 is Ratt. I expect production to have straightened that out by finale night, just like a part of me expects them to “pivot” Paul in a different direction with his planned speech. It would be interesting to see how Paul counters Josh’s truthfulness with his lies, however. Josh’s speech will be about what happened while Paul’s speech will be… bullshit. Which Final 2 speech will the jury respect more? Will it matter?

Ultimately, if the unexpected happens (for the first time all season), and Paul actually loses, it would be his own fault. There is no one else to blame because he had the reigns all season long. If Josh wins part 3 of the HOH and cuts Paul, it will be his fault for treating Josh like shit but still expecting him to give him that BB16-Cody treatment. If he makes the F2, and goes ahead with his planned speech, and turns an already bitter jury even more sour,  it will be his fault for not owning his game and creating that bitterness within the jury in the first place.

As an aside, to praise Paul’s gameplay also feels like you are condoning the rabid pack/groupthink mentality that existed throughout the season. The “Malign and Isolate the Target” strategy is hardly new, but to have an entire group of people rage out on someone because of the most minuscule things created a toxic atmosphere that stripped the fun away from the game for me and many others. Elena was probably the last person to be on the receiving end of this “tactic,” (because Paul’s other faux Final 3s could not be treated the same way), and we literally sat there and watched people take turns verbally berating her. I have been resistant to calling it bullying, because I think that word is thrown around far too much, but this cast certainly flirted with earning that title and Paul was the ringleader.

From the standpoint of production, Big Brother 19 ran quite smoothly. They got what they needed out of the psychopath Cody, as Paul’s only true opposition all season. They got their showmance edits, dedicating a ridiculous amount of time to that Jody telenovela. They had Josh, who has been on to Paul for a while, to further create the illusion for the casual audience that Paul has had some opposition, when he really has had next to none… (Josh, as a single person, could not do away with Paul and Christmas is in love with him. ::insert eyeroll here::)

Regardless of if Paul wins or not, it is impossible for Big Brother 19 to be regarded as anything other than the summer when Big Brother artificially crafted its next mastermind… just like they planned from the start (allegedly).

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Kevin Robert Martin: No Mastermind, All Myth

Note: This was written before the POV results and I am far too lazy to rewrite any parts of it.

For anyone who has followed me on Twitter, it is no secret that I am a diehard Demika fan. My love for Ika goes all the way back to Season 2 and I will most likely always be a big fan of hers. Despite this, I have also been very vocal and critical of Ika’s game and I do not mince words when she is doing dumb things.  My only other blog entry this season includes the phrase “Ika is never winning Big Brother!” or something close to that. My belief has been that Ika’s mouth is going to keep her from winning it all. Whether she uses that mouth to read a bitch and snatch ha ass bald, to throw too many people under the bus to each other, to tell the POV holder to shove the POV up his ass, or to tell the jury to kiss her royal ass, Ika is that hothead who should never have a shot in hell of winning a social game like Big Brother.

But, somehow Ika Wong has made it to the Final 4!

bitch what

As it turns out, Ika’s greatest flaw is also her best asset and she was able to put that to good use throughout the season.

Anyway, I say all of this to say that you CAN be critical of your fav’s game. It doesn’t make you a bad fan if you point out their flaws, it just makes you honest!

It has been nothing less than frustrating to see fans & alumni downplay and make excuses for the bad gameplay of Kevin Martin.  The edit he has been given does not help because it has given casual fans the impression that Kevin Martin was the only real strategist left after Bruno’s eviction while, in fact, he was probably the worst strategist left in the house – and YES, I am including Karen in this.

Kevin Martin’s edit has been, “this is me using my brain to smartly figure out strategy stuffs.”Conversely, as a comparison, Ika’s edit leans towards ruling by intimidation, attitude and emotions.  Such edits lead to tweets like:

Sweet darling, casual viewer, Ika has been playing the game since she walked through the door. Just remember that Ika and Sindy had a very rocky relationship walking into the house and that Ika managed to get that very same Sindy to take out one of the biggest threats to her game – Neda.

Since some fans/alumni seem to think that Kevin Martin’s gameplay is indicative of playing a game under the radar (one of their favorite excuses for his ineffectiveness ), I am taking it upon myself to breakdown Kevin’s game, his actions, and why he does not deserve to be considered a Big Brother Mastermind on ANY planet.

To start, I want to say that I DO NOT dislike or hate Kevin Robert Martin as a human person. He has a generally dry, uninteresting personality, IMO, but that is not a reason to dislike anyone. And I certainly do not care that he played William.

shrug i dont care idc

I just don’t give a fuck!

Now, I am going to break this down week by week because I think that this is the best way to showcase Kevin Martin’s ineffectiveness and poor decision making, which goes far far beyond “flying under the radar.”


Naturally, week one is hard to judge because we do not have feeds, which is quite simply A TRAVESTY OF EPIC PROPORTIONS. What we DO know about week one is that both Kevin Martin and Bruno were on the wrong side of the vote. That week sparked Karen’s extreme dislike for Kevin Martin and that has been a relationship he hasn’t been able to repair, or even really attempted to repair.

Week two could have further been bad for Brevin if their greatest nemesis and favorite target, Ika Wong, did not help to smooth things over with Demetres (the new HOH) by inviting him into their vet alliance

Week One & Two Summary: Kevin Martin made an enemy of Karen. He also joined an alliance with people who were willing to protect him – great move!


Kevin Martin remained a nonfactor in determining the direction of the game flew under the radar some more. Neda was HOH, so there was not anything he needed to do to stay off the block.   His, and Bruno’s, strategizing involved discussing targeting Demika – the duo that kept Bruno and Kevin safe the week before.

While Ika was doing/saying things like:

Kevin Martin and Bruno were saying things like:

Of course, at some point, you want to target duos but Brevin made it too obvious that that was what they were doing and way too early. That giant hint was dropped when Kevin Martin, Bruno and Neda said that they would not nominate Demily – Demika’s biggest threat at the time – if they won HOH, even though Demika were taking out potential allies to protect The Six.  That signaled to Ika and Demetres that they were at the bottom of their alliance. At that point, many Demika fans wanted them to flip and keep Cassandra so that they roll with her, The French Connection and Gary.

Week Three Summary: Kevin Martin makes himself a target of the people who protected him/kept him off the block the week before – bad move!


As previously planned, Kevin Martin, Bruno and Neda did not vote to nominate Demika’s biggest threats – Demily –  during backwards week, and instead protected them.

Kevin Martin continued not making or repairing relationships and connections with enough people to protect him later in the game flying under the radar.

Kevin Martin’s best game move of Week Four:

Week Four Summary: Kevin Martin flies under the radar and make goo-goo eyes at William.


William was HOH and that should have been a week as easy as a Neda HOH for Kevin Martin. But, after badly managing his “side alliance” with Demily, in an attempt to save herself, Emily hatched a plan with Karen to drive a wedge between William and Kevin Martin. Hearing that Kevin Martin regarded him as just his boy-toy, William decided to flip the script, successfully convincing Kevin Martin to use the Power of Veto. William did this by telling him that he planned to renom Jackie. If it was not for Bruno, Ika and Neda telling him NOT to use the POV, Kevin Martin would have used the POV and his #1 ally would have been backdoored.

To reiterate – Kevin Robert Martin got played by WILLIAM.  BY – W I L L I A M!!! The guy who couldn’t figure if he was playing Big Brother or just a really intense season of The Bachelor.

Week Five was a double, so we got a double dose of ineffectiveness from that Kevin Martin.

With his 2nd closest ally in danger, Neda, Kevin did not do anything to try to save her; nothing to assist Bruno in talking Sindy out of the move. (Maybe that is who Sindy meant didn’t try to stop her from nominating Neda. Lulz) Instead, he stood by passively and watched as she walked out the door…

Week Five Summary: Kevin  Martin got played by the guy crushing on him and didn’t try to save one ally from eviction at the hands of another ally. Flying under that radar… That Kevin Martin.


Because, somehow, Kevin Martin and Bruno believed that it was a good idea to make a deal and give HOH to the guy who was JUST nominated by Sindy hours earlier and who they JUST failed to try to keep off the block the week before, we ended up with a Dillon HOH. In one of the brightest moves of the season, they made this deal with two other people STILL in the competition, thus leaving only five people available for the block that week. Karen was never going up – that left FOUR options for the block – one of which was SINDY. (You know that girl who JUST nominated Dillon???)

Brevin totally failed to convey to Sindy that they still wanted to target Demika despite getting together earlier in the night to say that The Five would continue to move forward together. Sindy, still wanting the alliance to work, pushed for Demetres to be put up with Jackie so that they would have the numbers to save Demetres. While there is a BIG CHANCE that Dillon would have still nominated Demetres and Jackie, the fact that they did not get Sindy on board before pushing a Dem/Ika side-by-side nomination was a huge misstep because that was one less person pushing for the Demika nomination.

Remember how there were only four options for the block after Brevin made that deal with Dillon with TWO WHOLE OTHER HUMAN BEINGS still left in the comp? Right. Demetres won POV, so who was left to nominate? That’s right! SINDY AND IKA!!  Guess who Karen, sworn enemy of that Kevin Martin, wanted to keep? If your answer was, “NOT Kevin Martin’s season 3 ally,” YOU WOULD BE RIGHT!

Having decided to wage a full on war on Demika, and having convinced Sindy to attack Demika with them, Bruno and Kevin Martin unsuccessfully tried to get Ika put up as the replacement nominee. That was quite shocking given they did such a great job of convincing Dillon to put Demika up together in the first place.  After this failure, they continued to campaign against Ika when JACKIE was on the block. By the time Sindy realized how bad the strategy Bruno and Kevin Martin gave her, and accepted that she needed to go through Demika to save herself, it was way too late. Ika can be convincing, but she can’t be THAT convincing on THAT short of a notice.

Week Six Summary: image1


DEMETRE IS HOH AGAIN!! Uh oh… That’s not so great for Kevin Martin because he and Bruno had just spent the previous week trying to get him and then Ika evicted! Whatever will they do???

Bruno came up with the most logical strategy/plan of his entire Big Brother career – “We are down to three veterans, you need me and Kevin as a shield.” While this was very true, there simply was no trust between the duos.  The trust tank was on ‘E’… running on fumes! Which was warranted since, in private, both Bruno and Kevin Martin agreed that, EVEN IF THEY ARE SAVED, they needed to target Demika the following week.

So up on the block Brevin a’go!

Kevin Martin was the target that week but, thanks to one of his very very very VERY few good game moves this season (allowing himself to be occasionally pawed), Kevin was saved from the block by William, who used his secret Power of Veto on him. This secret Power of Veto was used on Kevin Martin after he told William NOT to use the Power of Veto he won on him. Yes… Kevin told William, his boy toy, his side piece, to NOT use the POV on him, although he had no clue that the 2nd POV existed. Kevin Martin would get evicted that week, if he remained on the block, BUT HE TOLD WILLIAM NOT TO USE THE POV ON HIM! I feel like I cannot emphasis this enough. What part of “flying under the radar” game is that??

Brevin also refused to plainly lay out the fact that Dre was actively targeting Demika to Demika. Not hint at it, not hypothesize about it, not suggest it, but TELL them that Dre wanted Demetres out prior to him winning the POV the week before. Brevin wanted Demika to save them, but still would not offer them new information that would incentivize them to keep Brevin in the house.  I suspect that the reason they did not want to tell them more about Dre is that they still wanted her to target them.

At any rate, Karen was the renom and, despite what her delusions told her, Bruno was the target. Bruno went to jury.

Week Seven: Kevin Martin fails to save another ally and tells his boy toy to not use the POV on him.


Kevin Robert Martin wins HOH! Uh oh, Demika!!

At this point, Kevin Martin was next to being alone in the game and realized that nominating Demika was going to just be doing the dirty work for the five remaining newblettes. He also realized that Demika would be a target/shield for him as a duo vs him and William as a duo. This naturally meant that his nominees should be Ika and Demetres…

blink speechless

After Demetres won the POV, Kevin Martin claimed that he threw it AND that he did not throw it, both, and that he WANTED Demetres to come off the block. He then made an alliance with Demika that he had no intentions of sticking to and just wanted to use to get through what they thought was going to be a double eviction. So, bye bye Taylor Swift Jackie!

Meanwhile, elsewhere, Boy-Toy was getting his game blown up and destroyed by a turnip turning up all over herself, and Demika was getting closer to Karen and Dillon.

That was NOT good… Because it was not just a double eviction, IT WAS A TRIPLE EVICTION!! And guess who won HOH? Not Turnip, Not Boy-Toy but DEMETRES!!! The guy that Kevin Martin had just nominated for eviction the week before! Since Karen and Dillon saved Demika that week, Demetres made the choice to nominate Kevin Martin alongside Boy-Toy and Turnip. Luckily for Kevin Martin, Demetres could not play in the POV because of the 6 person POV limit … or something. So Kevin Martin won that POV and saved himself from repeating his season 3 fate. Good for you Kevin Martin! Not so good for Boy-Toy and Turnip. Au revoir, French Connection!

Week Eight Summary:  Kevin Martin evicted Jackie, failed to save his last remaining ally from falling victim to the turn up, and won a comp to save himself from eviction.


Uh oh, Kevin is HOH again!! Naturally, this meant that Demika were FINALLY going to be split up. Right??


At this point, Demika knew there was nothing they could do to save themselves from the block, so they did not even bother to try. Once they lost the POV, their natural assumption was that they were doomed and that one of them would be leaving that week.

NOT SO FAST, PEOPLE! The mastermind is masterminding!

Baffling everyone, Kevin used the Power of Veto on Ika and nominated DILLON in her place.


Kevin Martin nominated DILLON in Ika’s place.


I SAID Kevin Martin nominated DILLON in place of Ika!!

Yes, that Kevin Martin decided to put the choice of who got evicted into the hands of a woman who has made it known, since week one, that she is not a fan of his or the way that he plays the game. In this regard, Kevin’s Season 3 mastermind edit did him no favors because that edit, coupled with him trying to flip the votes during Karen’s HOH, created the perception that he was untrustworthy. Karen is not a feeds watcher and the real life Kevin Martin is considerably different than the editing room Kevin Martin.

Of course, in the game of Big Brother, being deceptive is a natural part of it. The thing is that you cannot APPEAR as if you are lying. Ika is a good example of someone who lies believably. Despite the fact that she has told her share of lies, she managed to convince people that she is “real.”

Karen ACTIVELY worked against Kevin to tear his game down with turning William against him with the “boy-toy” comment, making sure Sindy was taken from him as a number,  bad mouthing him to anyone who would listen, and successfully turning Dillon fully against him and Bruno. Karen put in WORK, and Kevin knows all about it! But, still, he decided to use the veto on Ika and put up DILLON in her place!


I’m not doing this again… Lil Jon Dave Chappelle!!

So, with the power gifted to a woman he KNOWS has been against him all game, Kevin Martin failed in his 2nd attempt to break Demika up, and Dillon was the casualty.

Kevin Martin fans want to lay the blame of this failure at Karen’s feet, but Karen could not have voted Dillon out if he was not on the block. Karen could not have voted if SHE was on the block. Call Karen stupid, if you must, but stupidity would be if she thought that keeping Demetres would be the best way to get to the final 2. She doesn’t.

Let me tell you about “stupidity.”

Stupidity is the belief that Dillon was the best renom option when the same exact logic Kevin Martin used to say that Karen would never vote Dillon out could be applied in reverse. If Karen would never vote out Dillon, then it follows that Dillon would never vote out Karen.

Stupidity is Kevin Martin not realizing that Dillon had the same exact incentive to want Demetres out as he did – Demetres was a comp threat AND Demetres was never taking him to the Final 2.

Stupidity is not trying to properly assess, through conversations, what people would do if put in the position to cast a game-changing vote. Not only did he not listen to Karen when she said she COULD vote out Dillon if he was on the block next to Demetres, he also did not try to determine if Dillon saw Demetres as someone who was as big of a threat to his end game as he did.

I understand that houseguests can’t see what we see… But these are things that someone who wants to be regarded, whose fans want to regard, as a mastermind should see because the evidence was all around him. Maybe if he spent less time trying to make “good TV” and creating content for the show’s edit, he could have found his way to this obvious game move.

Week Nine Summary:  Kevin Martin relinquished his power to Karen.

Week Ten:

This week has yet to conclude, but Demetres has won his way into the Final 3. Even if Kevin Martin wins this POV, he has to go up against the biggest comp beast in BB Canada’s history. He can, and has, beaten him in the past, so it is not impossible. But, this is definitely not what he wanted.

Week Ten Summary: To be determined…

And with that, we conclude my week by week breakdown of Kevin’s abysmal Big Brother gameplay.

If Kevin manages to win out and take Karen to the Final 2, it will not be because he has played a strong, strategically sound game. It will be because the week that he was going to be evicted, Boy-Toy saved his hide and he managed to win the rest of the comps he needs to win.

Kevin Martin, the player, did not save one single solitary ally throughout the game – not one.  Mark, Neda, Sindy, & Bruno all were evicted their FIRST times on the block. His read on the house has been consistently bad – which led to the Dillon nomination last week. He followed Bruno’s bad advice time and time again, and that advice has put him in a place where he has had no choice but to win out. Bruno even stated that Kevin Martin going against Demika, right after his eviction, probably was not the best strategy, but that is the strategy he left Kevin Martin with, anyway and Kevin Martin followed through with it. This is all just bad gameplay.

Prior to the comp wins (which have saved him from eviction) nothing Kevin Martin has done in this game could even be labeled as “good,” let alone great, and certainly not the actions of a mastermind. But, you wouldn’t know that from the edit. From the edit, you would think that Kevin is the most logical person in the house and now we have people referring to him as the “ultimate underdog.” We have people trying to make a case as to why Kevin Martin deserves to win JUST AS MUCH AS people who have actually played the game, strategically, 10 times better than he has.

Kevin Martin is an underdog of his own making. His own choices have led him to a place where he is alone in the game. That is not the kind of underdog I find worthy of rooting for, nor do I believe he deserves to be more highly praised than people who made choices that positioned themselves better in the game, JUST because his bad game play has left him alone.

Ika saved Bruno several times. She did this by getting him in an alliance with the HOH he had just voted to evict and made sure that The French Connection did not put him up as an initial nominee and that they COULDN’T put him up as a renom. This saved an ally that Kevin Martin’s CHOICE would have had evicted. But, even though they recognized that Ika was putting in work to keep them safe, all Brevin could do was paint targets on her back. What a difference it could have made for Brevin’s game if they would have recognized the value of having Demika in their corner. They could have used Ika’s social prowess and Demetres comp wins to go far… but they were playing WEEKS ahead of themselves. These were all CHOICES that they made. BAD choices!

I learned early on that Big Brother is not a “fair” game. The people who put in the most work oftentimes do not win. It is very possible that Kevin can win his way to the Final 2. He will take Karen and most likely win.  That is the nature of the game they are playing. But, Kevin fans, please be honest. Kevin has not played a good strategic game and there are no arguments that can be made to refute this. He did not PLAN to be the last surviving member of his core alliance by the final 8. He didn’t PLAN to have to win out from the final 8 in order to get to the final 2. This wasn’t by design, this wasn’t his strategy. It is not a strategy that anyone would ever actively try to put into play because any strategy that requires you to go on a comp winning streak, in order to survive, while there are SEVEN other people left in the house, IS NOT A GOOD STRATEGY.

Kevin Martin is a mastermind in edit only so, naturally, if he wins this will leave this Demika fan very disappointed. Comp beasting aside, Demetres has been with Ika every step of the way making decisions TOGETHER as a team. Together they saved people and/or evicted people. They controlled the fates of many of the houseguests and largely remained safe, even when they were not in power. In addition, while Ika’s style of gameplay has kept both fans and haters, alike, on the edges of our seats and,  she saved the season from being a dry, dull predictable march towards Bruno, Neda or Kevin being crowned winner of Big Brother Canada Season 5. Her presence has made this one of the most entertaining seasons of Big Brother in recent years! So, of course, we Ika fans would love for her to be rewarded in the end with at least Final 2. Unfortunately, Ika suck at comps this season and that may prove to be her ultimate downfall.

If you still don’t believe me when I say that Kevin has played a horrible strategic AND social game, there is a video of Kevin Martin floating around when he himself states that his game has not been as good as Demika’s. If you can’t accept the words of a non-Kevin fan, you should at least be able to accept the words of your fav.

ATEOTD, as fans, we are all allowed to root for whomever we wish to root for, for any reason we wish to. You can stan someone who sucks at comps, who suck at strategizing, who sucks at socializing, who sucks at breathing, who continuously plays the victim, whatever! All I wish is that people would at least be HONEST about the games their fav’s are playing.

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Death of a Legend: Breaking Down Neda Kalantar’s Unsuccessful Return to Big Brother

Before we get started – YES Neda stans, I actually took the time to write ALL of those words, and that is the only thing that you should take away from this.

neda crying

I recently had a mini debate about Neda and how I could not state who was the smartest between her and Ika because they both have/had glaring flaws in their games. Someone tweeted me and told me that it was not even close, that Neda is the smarter of the two. I get people’s natural instinct to state that Neda is much smarter. She is QUEEN Neda, the Legend, the MASTERMIND, and Ika is like a bull in a china shop with her erratic game of flip flopping messiness. It is easy to point out all of the things that she is doing wrong and it is clear as day, even for the most die hard Ika fans, that her winning Big Brother is highly unlikely. For Neda, all of the reasons I believed her game was just as bad as Ika’s, and arguably worse, came to a head when she was ousted during this week’s Double Eviction. Her game was not smarter, it just seemed that way because Ika’s bad moves are so LOUD.

I have a confession to make… I was not really a Neda fan anymore when Big Brother 5 started…. So I thought it would be funny to vote for her to get the immunity because I knew she could NEVER win if she made it to the end. How her fans thought that giving her that power would not backfire is a mystery to me. They either did not think she had the ability to make jury on her own or… are stupid? I don’t know.

I did not know at the time that Neda would play such a major part in tanking her own game, but I could not see how someone, who has immunity through 5 evictions, could actually win. So, I said, “Why not?” and split the votes between her and someone I knew could never win (Ika, lmao).

Side note: Honestly, there were much more strategic ways to hand out that power if you wanted Neda to get far, without giving it to her. BBOTT made me never want to try to vote strategically with fans again, however, so I definitely was not the one to make that argument. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

When Neda got the power, I thought she was going to be smart enough to use the down time to form relationships and bond with people to make them NOT want to evict her when her immunity ran out. I then thought she would use the fact that she was immune for 5 weeks as a bargaining chip to get to the end by saying that there is no way she can win as a vet and someone who had a free ride to jury. I thought she was going to tell them that sitting next to her was the best way to make sure that they win in the final 2.  She did neither of those things. Instead, she made enemies and displayed a snotty, entitled attitude that made evicting her one of the easiest decisions (the majority of) the house had made all season.

So, where did it all go so wrong?

A basic of Big Brother is managing relationships with your allies (both real and faux) and one of the biggest flaws in Neda’s game was bad alliance management. (For this, I am going to include Bruno because both he and Neda have managed the alliance the same way and was on the same page about targets and who to use to attack people within their alliance.) While, naturally, the first thing you should worry about in BB is your own game, you also have to make people in your alliance THINK that you actually care about their games as well. Neda and Bruno did a horrible job at this. Instead, their expectation that the alliance was supposed to take out their targets FIRST and ONLY, and keep ONLY their shields in, was made very clear pretty early on. An alliance is supposed to benefit all members. If your members are making sacrifices, and you are not, AND THEY CATCH ON TO IT, there is going to be a problem.

The alliance was working to take out threats to Neda and Bruno’s games, week after week. Their stated future plans only included targeting their threats or people who they were not interested in roping in. After Demika helped to evict several threats for Neda and Bruno, they made it clear that they wanted Demily up (and Dillon evicted) because they were their threats.  Neda and Bruno did not even PRETEND that they cared to target Demily. Prior to the Gary/Dre nominations they told Demika that, if they won HOH, they would NOT put up any of the three threats to their game – Jackie, Dillon or Emily. They told them if THEY won HOH that it was “fine” if THEY nominated Demily, but that was the only way Demily would be nominated. What is French for, “What?” This is not how an alliance of give/take works. Demika was doing all of the giving, and Bruno/Neda was doing all of the taking.

Don’t get me wrong, if you can get your alliance to take out only your targets/threats and keep only the people who are best for your game, THAT’S PERFECT. But, you can’t do that if the people in your alliance SEE that you are doing it.  In that case, you have to compromise and sacrifice some to keep the peace and make sure the people you are working with do not turn on you. You know… like Sindy turned on Neda.

For Sindy, she wanted The Six to be THE alliance and, when it got to the FINAL 6, perhaps she wanted to roll with Bruno and Kevin to the end as the Season 3 alliance. So, given that the basic theory that taking out your alliance members’ threats strengthens the ENTIRE alliance, it was a problem that Neda and Bruno were not willing to take out Demika’s threats to keep them placated and protect their alliance. It became obvious to Demika that the reason that they wanted to keep Demily was to go after them and ultimately take their place in The 6.

Demika and Sindy tried to explain to Neda/Bruno that the issue that Demika had was that they were not getting anything from The Six despite all of their sacrifices, WORKING to keep them off the block and having to shoulder the brunt of the targets from those outside of the alliance. Even with that explained, Neda and Bruno insisted on staying the course and, instead of trying to make them feel comfortable, planned to have Demika evicted.

Truthfully, this is some of the poorest alliance management I have ever seen. It may have worked if the whole cast were newbs, but it was never going to work on Ika, and ultimately Sindy, because their intent was extremely obvious to people who know their games and who also learned from their mistakes the first time around… Oh, and also to people with a couple of brain cells. If you are in an alliance with people who are fine with you being at risk every week, and who refuse to go after people who are targeting you, even though you go after their threats, your alliance is shit and they are just using you. 2nd timer or not, you should be able to pick up on that quite easily.

Neda’s biggest problem is that everything that Ika had been saying about how the alliance was operating, and how selfish the alliance is (“the alliance” really meaning Neda and Bruno), was TRUE. The alliance WAS selfish and was operating to only benefit Bruno’s and Neda’s end games. Sindy saw that Ika was right so she took it upon herself to try to salvage the alliance the best way she knew how – cutting out the person who she saw as being most toxic to its success. It was not going to be Bruno because of their season 3 alliance.

In the end, Neda’s style of gaming came across as selfish and she displayed a rigid unwillingness to compromise with people who are supposed to be her allies. Sindy herself said that when Neda said The Six was done is when she started to turn against her. If you are going to “pick sides” between a side that is selfish and a side that has made sacrifices to try to help everyone in the alliance, which side are you going to pick?

Well, if The Six is done, exactly what obligation does one of the members of The Six have to keep you safe?

Bruno should take note and switch things up a bit before he suffers the same fate as Neda. The thing he has going for him is that he has a more natural likability. Some people may leave convos with him feeling as if they can’t trust him, but they still want him to win (somehow).

Sadly for Bruno, his desperation to breakup Demika, and get out Demetres this week, without personally getting any blood on his hands, may backfire. After dumbly throwing the HOH to the (highly likely) brain damaged boxer who cries because he can’t take his mixed niece (Dillon’s words, not mine) out to the woods, feeds unsuspecting people his ball sweat and cheats on his girlfriend for the world to see, he and Kevin find themselves in danger because you can’t really predict the future actions of a man like this.  In an ironic twist, if Kevin left, Bruno may actually be in a better position than he is in right now since PEOPLE STILL WANT HIM TO WIN – you know, if it is not them.  But that Kevin Martin? Has got to go! ::Karen’s voice::

Side note: It is hilarious that Bruno and Kevin blame Sindy for putting them in this position by evicting Neda, as if he was not part of the problem with not keeping Demika happy and didn’t just throw HOH to Dillon. No, it is not Sindy’s fault, sweetie. IT’S YOURS.

Anyway,  Enough about Bruno…

Neda’s other issues are just additional layers atop the bigger issue of bad alliance management, but still in line with her bad people skills. One of those layers is her inability to connect with people on a human level. I am one of those people who used to think that Neda could have gotten to the end without Jon, but after this season I am not so sure. It is hard to tell if Neda is this way because she is now THE LEGEND, Robbed Queen of Big Brother Canada Season 2, or if she was just better at hiding this bitchy, entitled side during BBCAN2. It is probably a little of both.

Yes, I know Neda said before the season she was going to be a bitch this time, but I swear I thought that meant she was going to be unapologetic about her game moves TO THE FANS, IN THE DR. That she would be reading people for filth to the fans, IN THE DR. Not that she was going to be a real life twat to the people she had to rely on to keep her safe. I fail to see how that was ever a good strategy in a game where relationships actually mean something. It especially is not a good strategy if you have been given immunity until jury. It is as if Neda heard Maddie say last season, “You don’t need numbers to win BB!” and said, “That girl is on to something!” There was no logic behind it. Being an entitled bitch, cold and distant while immune just ensured that people had in the back of their minds that they want you gone the second your immunity is up. Or, at best, they just don’t care if you survive or not.

Neda did not spend any of her immunity strengthening relationships with people on all sides of the house. Towards the end, she spent most of her time holed up with Jackie bashing Ika (which was wholly unproductive) and going to bed early. Back in week 3, when she won HOH, she did not even use the opportunity to get closer to people, to talk to other HGs to see where their heads were, or even to ask for safety once her immunity ran out… You know, since she was keeping them safe during her HOH and all. She did not strengthen any relationships, she made no deals, she just said, “I am nominating Cassandra, vote her out.”  I was flabbergasted, truly. I was also disappointed because even though I may not have cared for her personality anymore, I did truly buy into the Mastermind Neda myth. What exactly is the point of winning comps, while you have immunity, if you are not going to use those wins to try to buy yourself favor with people in the house?

In this regard, Ika runs circles around Neda. Sure, she has a tendency to blow up on people and have to go crawling back with her tail between her legs, but the fact that she can do this is also a testament to her social game. If she wanted to repair her relationship with Taylor Swift, she has the social skills to pull it off. I mean, who would have thought that after her Sindy rant and fallout that she would have managed to pull Sindy so far back in that she convinced her that Neda needed to go for the sake of The Six? Ika is not the best at articulating her feelings when she is upset, because she struggles greatly to mask her anger and annoyance, but through that anger was always the truth – “Demetres and I have done a lot forthe alliance, and Neda has done nothing and does not plan to do anything for anyone but herself.” I am also sure that the impromptu roast of Sindy, that she DEMANDED people participate in, didn’t help.

Neda simply does not have a personality to offset the nastier aspects of who she is. This matters greatly and Ika is an example of how it matters. It matters, not just to fans watching the game play out, BUT FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE PLAYING THE GAME! No matter how much people want to say it is hypocritical to like Ika and not like Neda, it is basic human nature to accept things from people who have personalities that you like. You accept more from people who are witty and fun and outgoing and make you laugh and entertain you. There is a reason that comedians can get away with saying things that average people can’t say. Trust that if Ika was all negative, all anger, all bitterness without the human and fun (non-people bashing) layers that she gives us, she would not have half the fans that she does now. I mean, we literally just watched Jason get robbed during BBOTT because too many people could not take his negative, angry, and bitter all the time, persona. While I am personally capable of voting based on game, AND DID, I also did not like Debbie Downer Jason. His balance of FUN Jason and UNHAPPY Jason was waaaay off. It was not fun to watch and listen to it all the time and his misery rubbed off on me. That’s how it works, people. Ika has a lot of good stuff to rub off on people and Neda has… like… none.

And, let’s face it, production clearly prefers the entertainment value that Ika brings to the show over Neda. I mean… the shade of it all:

Lastly, targeting vets so early was just a poor choice. The casts in Canada tend to be a bit different than in the US, mostly meaning that they don’t all generally come from bars and Tinder. Most of the newbies actually knew the vets and liked them and wanted to work with them. If the vets could have stuck together for AT LEAST a few weeks, they could have set up a better end game for themselves by exploiting this with the newblettes. I understand that Cassandra and Dallas were probably never going to be on Neda and Bruno’s side totally, and getting them out worked for their games… But evicting Gary took it a step too far and all of the vets walking out of the door back to back took away any concerns that targeting a vet would result in backlash. The risk was always that the newbies would wake up and say, “Hey, we have the numbers now, we can take them out.” Cassandra, Dallas and Gary were actually all shields the quieter, smarter vets could have used to hide behind.  Personally, I think that it was more important for Neda to prove that Cassandra was overrated and that she could never be as good as her since a lot of delusional fans/feeders actually think that Cassandra played a good game last season. Neda proved her point, but at what cost?

blink 3

Anytime my favs start to play poorly and make bad decisions, the thing I always say is that they are bringing the bad consequences on themselves. I cannot be upset with how the house responds to their bad game moves. Neda stans will probably stay in denial about this, but she made a shit ton of bad choices that led to her inevitable eviction and because of this, it is hard to still think of her as a mastermind.

Neda had all she needed to work with. She had a power that would have probably kept her from winning, but would not have stopped her from getting further if she would have played it right. She was given a real life friend of Jon’s to play with.  She had Ika from her 1st  season. She had veterans AND newbs who were excited to play with the Legend of Big Brother Canada. Instead of trying to capitalize on this, she threatened Jon’s friend by saying Jon will not be friends with him anymore if he upsets her; she made Ika feel like she did not care about her game; and apparently she could only bond with newbies if they are bashing Ika with her. Perhaps she was given so much on a silver platter that it backfired. It appears that it made her think, somehow, that she did not have to actually work on relationships and play the game. Just being Neda Kalantar was enough…

…But, it wasn’t enough…

I have a feeling that Neda will walk away from this thinking that the only reason Canada turned on her is that she took out fan favorites Cassandra and Gary. While this actually may be a big part of why a lot of CASUAL fans do not like her, the biggest problem for both casual fans and live feeders was her snide, nasty attitude.  Luckily for her, she still has her die-hard fans and BB Alum awaiting her ass to kiss and they will never dare tell her the part she played in her own demise. They can all live together in fairy tale land, where the actual problem is that Ika made Neda look bad to the fans, Sindy is simply Stupid with an S, and it is all the fault of editing.  Yes, the shows could have been edited differently to paint her in a more positive light (like it is for Ika, lulz), but the fact of the matter is that they can’t show what is not given to them. The fans have the right to change their opinions of Neda just like she changed the person she presented to Canada. Negativity begets negativity. C’est la vie! (I am pretty sure that is French.)

Well, that does it for my breakdown of Neda’s game. I feel like I am missing some points I wanted to hit on, but that’s okay. I can always add them later, for the record.



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Alex Sucks

bbott-live-dr-2-alex-560x311There is little more annoying than an overrated Big Brother player with a large fan base. These irrational individuals have absolutely no ability to be objective and examine their fav’s game honestly.  Of course, we all have the right to like who we like, but the insistence that a certain player is playing the best game, while mountains of evidence exists to prove otherwise, is maddening.

Alex sucks, and here’s why. (The following was written before this week’s Eviction/HOH).

Before she even “won” last week’s HoH competition, she had an extremely stubborn opposition to the format of Big Brother Over the Top including America’s unprecedented involvement with the game. She clearly went into the house with a set notion of what her strategy would be and America voting on so many aspects of the game obviously threw a wrench in that plan. There are always disappointments going into the Big Brother house when you realize that things cannot pan out the way you envisioned. The greats figure out  how to adapt. .

While there are elements of Classic Big Brother that you can apply to Big Brother Over the Top (ie, using certain types of players as shields, not wanting strong/solid duos or trios at the end, etc) using 100% CBB strategy to play BBOTT is akin to trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. It just does not fit. Despite not knowing how involved America would be, Alex should have at least “expected the unexpected” and considered that, as she went along, she may have to alter her strategy to make it work for any twists that come her way. It would have been ideal if she would have started to shift her game to be more in line with America’s involvement. Do not entirely pander to the feeders, but don’t essentially say, “fuck you,” either.

Something else that is probably not the best winning strategy is framing America for your hinky votes. Something that Alex thought would be smart to do, but ultimately turned out to be somewhat of a hindrance. (More on that later.)

So, let’s get started. How does Alex suck? Let us count the ways!

Number 1: Not Knowing When You Need to Win

Going into the HoH competition, Alex really did not need to win. Alex went into the week not really on anyone’s immediate radar, but came out of the week at the top of several people’s target lists. Before this week, the other side of the house would have easily put Monte, Shelby and/or Scott on the block long before ever thinking about putting up Alex.

Neely could not have been a more perfect person to win that HOH. Her… affinity towards Monte was the perfect time for Alex to cultivate a relationship with someone who is outside of her core group. Neely is someone who she could set herself up with for further down the road when Neely needs to start targeting people on her side; people like Danielle and Shane who are the low men on the Jamboree pole.

Number 2: Making Emotional Choices


There was never any doubt about who Alex would put up, of course. She and her fellow Plastics have wanted Danielle out of the house since they saw her walk through the door. They literally hated her on sight. When you decide that you do not like someone because of something superficial, such as their appearance, and refuse to work with them or properly prioritize them as targets in a way that makes sense for your game, you are already setting yourself up for failure. Vanessa did this in BB17 and had duos/showmances as her shields. If she would have won the last HOH, she would have won the whole game.

Danielle and Shane, at this stage of the game, are perfect shields. Showmances are always targets. You do not want a showmance in the top 5, but you don’t take them out at 12th place, either.

Furthermore, unlike with most seasons of Big Brother, the house had a 3-day forewarning about what the POV competition would be. The house knew that it would be a golfing competition. The house also knew that Shane is/was a professional golfer. The nominations had not been made yet; perhaps Shane is not the best person for the block? While the obvious move, in order to take out one part of a couple, is to put them both on the block, a pro golfer competing in a golf competition is probably reasonably considered “extenuating circumstances” since you can reasonably assume that someone who has golfed professionally would have a leg up on the competition. If there was anytime for a pawn situation, this was it. If Danielle must be your target, put her up with a pawn or try to backdoor her.

Of course Alex could not just completely screw over her numbers and put up her closest allies as the actual targets. But she has other options. Scott’s allegiances rove and are unpredictable. Not only has he flipped and voted against them, he has already revealed himself as untrustworthy by going from side to side spilling everything he is told. Even now, he is screwing up their plans by giving the other side information they did not want them to have.

Then you have Shelby, who everyone in the house hates – including the Plastics. She is obviously making herself an early target for the other side of the house and America. The Plastics themselves said that she is probably seen as the mean girl. When it comes time for Shelby to be nominated or targeted, which is sooner than later, Alex can very easily be thrown up with her. Scott’s loose lips/unpredictability and Shelby’s nastiness are both liabilities to Alex’s long term game.montehavenotrevealbb

Then you have the out of the box option of Monte. He is another liability and is clearly on America’s bad side. She knows this because America put up Cornbread, Monte’s close ally, and voted him out last week. She knows this because Monte and Morgan were put on slop this week. A great pander to America could have been his head on a silver platter. Clearly, you need America on your side in this version of Big Brother because, even if your side wins the next HOH and does not target you, America can still put your side on slop and on the block. America does not do pawns. If you go on the block, we are probably also voting you out.

A Monte nomination would have been the biggest feather in her cap and even Misfits fans would not have been able to take that move away from her. It would have also been a signal to that fans that she is ready to play BBOTT. She could have very easily made the case to her fellow Plastics that Monte was putting them in the line of fire and that they would probably be nominated and put on slop  every week for being associated with him.

In the end, Alex would not have had to worry about picking nominees/targets at all had she simply given the HOH to Neely, who would have probably put up Scott and Shelby. With those nominations, she would have probably had a better shot at getting people to vote out Scott/Shelby over Monte with Neely’s help in persuading them since Neely really, really, really did not want her ivory bae him out of the house.

Alex’s tunnel vision, when it comes to Danielle, made it impossible for her to consider other options. It is rare that alliances are so solid in week one that they cannot be reworked to include people who were not in it originally, but Alex is not able to see it. Letting Neely have HOH would have given her a shot at replacing people who are liabilities and a detriment to her game (Scott/Shelby) with someone who isn’t (Neely) and who can also help keep her off the block when/if her side wins HOH. She needs to rework her game with her end game in mind. (Shelby would have probably been the better choice for the Plastics because Scott possibly win mental comps.)

Speaking of missed opportunities…

Number 3: Failure to Utilize Sibling Twist


Alex, unlike anyone else walking into the house, had a great advantage in having her sister play the game with her. But, instead of using this advantage to their benefit and SPLITTING UP between the sides, they have decided to both be a visible part of the same side of the house.

Big Brother Canada’s recent winners are a set of brothers who went into the house as a KNOWN set of siblings and even THEY managed to place themselves on opposites of the house. This tactic can’t work for this particular set of siblings for one reason, and one reason only – They hate Danielle.

Number 4: Lacking Perception

Alex, like all of Team MAGA, in general, has almost no read on the other side of the house. Part of this is caused by the Plastics/Team MAGA (Make America Great Again (I WILL make fetch happen!)) isolating themselves in the HOH room that they have had the last two weeks.

An illustration of Alex’s lack of perception is her belief that the only people, who are “playing the game,” are her and her allies. Because of this, it is impossible for her to know what those on the other side of the house will do in various situations and #scenarios.

Monday night, after the veto competition, team MAGA + Shelby lamented on how Dane and Jason are “playing” and “lying to” Justin and Neely in order to “trick them” into voting out Monte.  (All of this while they themselves were plotting ways to “lie” and “trick” Shane, Justin and/or Neely into voting out one of their allies.)

She does not consider that all of the time she spends away from them, that they are talking about the game at some of those points, and not just “having fun.” Of all the people on Alex’s side of the house, the only person who has tried to “infiltrate” the Misfits is Whitney. That is simply bad social gaming on Alex’s part.

There seems to be a perception held by the Plastics/Team MAGA (and their fans, alike), that you cannot be considered “playing the game” if you do not talk game for hours on in. The thing that they do not seem to get is that you do not have to keep going over plans, changing plans, or tweaking plans once you have come up with a good one.

Late Night Crew/Jamboree/The Misfits do not have to spend hours plotting and scheming because they come up with their plans relatively quickly.  They trust each other to do what they say they are going to do to execute the plan. What else is there to talk about? (Not that all of their plans work, but the plans they come up with tend to be the best ones for their situation at the time. ie, suggesting putting up Scott in order to save Monte – a perfect time for Alex to pitch Shelby instead and possibly flip Neely to save Monte, her stronger ally.)

Compare the “Save Monte by Evicting Scott” plan to the “Tell Justin He Can Frame America, Just Like Me, and Keep His Number One Enemy in the House and Piss Off America in the Process” plan and there is no competition on which plan was rooted in more logic and reason.

Number 5: Ineffectual Planning

Because the Plastics/Team MAGA aren’t actually the swiftest cocks in the race, they tend to ramble through and come up with one bad plan after the other only to settle on a plan that will never work and then, naturally, fail to execute it.

Part of the problem is Alex’s hinky vote which most of the Misfits did not fall for anyway. The people who did fall for it just so happen to be on Alex’s side.  Much of their time was spent saying things such as, “Maybe IT WAS America who voted out Danielle! So they will maybe probably do it again!! They ALL hate her as much as we do, right??? Monte is a saint and a gentleman!! Why would America want him out??”  Try as she might, Alex could not pull them entirely away from the idea of America voting Danielle out and, frankly, that took up brain power that could have been used to think of a plan that was less asinine than the eleventy-five other bad plans that had already thought of.

The final settle upon plan was some unnecessarily convoluted lie to try to trick Neely into a sympathy vote for Monte (which led to Neely tears instead of insulting her intelligence, as it should have) but then telling everyone else that they were voting out Monte… or something. Frankly, it was hard to follow given how little sense it made.

Number 6: Making Bad Situations Worse

Alex knows that America nominated Monte’s closest ally in week one. Alex knows America voted out Monte’s closest ally in week one because Alex knows that it was not America who voted out Danielle. Alex knows that America put Monte and Morgan on slop. Alex knows America put Morgan on slop because of her closeness with Monte.  Alex knows that America nominated Monte for eviction.  Alex has all of the necessary information to conclude that America is more than likely going to vote out Monte this week. A smart player, a good player, a great player, a savvy player would have accepted that they have lost this round, and adjust.

That adjustment was putting Scott/Shelby up as a replacement. Not because she thinks that the other side is actually going to vote out Scott/Shelby over Monte, but Scott is alone on an island, Shelby is hated by all, so there is no one to retaliate against her. Both have burnt their bridges and no one on the other side will trust them or pick them over each other. They would have had to stay on Alex’s side if they survived the week. (For some reason, it did not even cross Alex’s mind that she did not have to blindside anyone with the renomination.)

She also needed to put up Scott/Shelby because she already had made a deal with Kryssie that she would not put her on the block if she saved Jason and left her targets available for nomination. Going back on her word showed the house – IN WEEK TWO – that her word is worth no more than Monte’s laughable modesty and faux chivalry.

Nominating Kryssie effectively killed any shot at saving Monte. Obviously, Neely could not flat out say to her allies that she wanted to save Monte, but if she could have worked them over the next 24 hours into agreeing that Monte will always be a bigger target in front of them, can’t play in the next POV, would probably always get America to vote against him in some capacity, it is a real possibility that even her allies would have agreed to suffer through another week of Monte as a more strategic move.

Note:  Neely admitted in her live diary that she wanted the votes to actually stay the same and flip the house against Shane to get him out. So it is actually a very real possibility that she would have tried to get Scott/Shelby out and that is the reason she is as livid as she is at Alex for putting up Kryssie. 

Because of Alex’s rigidness, stubbornness and unwillingness to adapt her game to Big Brother OVER THE TOP, she opted to move herself to the front of both Kryssie and Neely’s target lists, when before neither would have gone after her if they would have won HOH next week.

To recap…

Alex’s Week  included:

  1. Throwing a hinky vote that made it difficult strategize
  2. Framing America
  3. George Dubya Bushing an HOH
  4. Nominating a golf pro for a golf POV
  5. Losing the Power of Veto competition 4 vs 2
  6. Giving herself a disadvantage in the next HOH
  7. Squandering her only chance to save a better ally
  8. Ruining her social game w/others outside Plastics
  9. Breaking a deal (that the entire house knew about)
  10. Blindsiding the person who made the aforementioned deal with renomination
  11. Making two new enemies
  12. Becoming a bigger garget
  13. Losing a solid ally to eviction

We all have our own opinions, but it is extremely difficult to spin the above into “great game play.”

Alex’s desire to be a serious gamer, alone, does not make her a “great player” and it certainly does not make her the “best player” in the house. Is she an improvement over the last blonde with glasses that played Big Brother? Absolutely, no question. Does she have the POTENTIAL to be a better player? Sure. But this preemptive crowning of her Big Brother Great is a bit perplexing. There is absolutely nothing Alex has actually done that has shown that she is a great player. You do not get credit for playing one game well just because the strategy you are using could possibly work in a different game.

As much as Alex’s fans like to bitch and moan about America’s involvement, Alex’s side of the house have done themselves no favors. Week one, they played in the POV 4 vs 1 vs 1.  Week two, they again played in the POV with a 4 vs 2 advantage and 2 of them (Scott/Shelby) were clearly not attempting to win. With Monte totally flopping, that made the competition 2 vs 1. That is not America’s fault. Couple this with their horrible social games and lack of desire to try to comingle with people who “don’t fit in” and who are not like them (minus Whitney), their side of the house is flat out blowing their own games.

The two HOH’s that they have “won” were pretty much given to them with Alex not being disqualified for touching the pole with her second hand (shut up) and Monte just being the last person standing the week before.

Winning Big Brother has never been a one-size fits all type of thing. Being great at it includes being able to maneuver your way around the twists and turns that are thrown your way. While her strategy in regular Big Brother would have been more effective, in Big Brother Over the Top, it could not be. It is not as if it is impossible to adjust and adapt to this format because several other players already have. Alex is simply too petty, too stubborn and too set in her ways to do so. As a consequence, her Head of Household reign will end just like Monte’s did last week. Three people nominated, all of them “coming back,” as Monte would say.

The thing that makes Alex “suck” is that she has had plenty of information and plenty of opportunities to make this HoH work for her and come out on the other side either better, or no worse off. A savvier player would have been able to pull that off.

None of this is to say that Alex should not have fans and people who root for her. We are all allowed to root for whomever we want for whatever reasons we want to. That is a given. I simply challenge her fans, who insist that she is the next coming of Danielle Kirby-Gheesling, to make their case for the greatness they proclaim she possesses.

What are three positive things that Alex gained during her HOH, things that she did not have before the week began?  How will those things impact her game moving forward? Did she learn more about the dynamics of the house?  She doesn’t think anyone on the other side is playing and that Neely is at the bottom of a 6 person alliance when she is near the top. She thinks Justin is just there to have fun and that no one talks strategy with him or lets him know what is going on.

By all measures, (fingers crossed) this HoH was a complete failure. It does not matter what “would have happened” if they were playing classic Big Brother, because they are not. Alex failed this week, not only in not getting her target evicted (pleeeeeeease geesus), but she did not use her position to learn anything new about what was happening in the house or make new deals.

Sorry Alex fans, as much as it might hurt to hear this… It must be said. Alex may aspire to be a great player, but she is nowhere near one.

Update: Ding Dong the Fool is Gone!

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Unpopular Opinion Alert – I am not mad at Loveita’s nominees.

Unpopular Opinion Alert – I am not mad at Loveita’s nominees (anymore).

is that so

I know, I knoooow!! I know what you are saying in your Aussie mixed with English tinged Canadian accents, “But Kraziler, she should ‘ave put up the 3rd Wheel alliance! They put ‘er on the block AND got ‘er bestie of two weeks evicted from the game; they are horrid people… especially that Kelsey and that Rail!! THEY ‘AVE GOT TO GO-O!!”

I get it! I was mad too! But…

…But, honestly, when you are in a game with a house full of people who hate you on a level so irrational that it almost makes Donald Drumpf supporters look sane, it is actually kind of hard to mess up your nominations too much.  Of all the people she could have nominated, Christine and Cassandra were not her BEST options, but they definitely were not her worst. She had one side wanting Dallas and Maddy up, and the other wanting Kelsey and Jared/Rail up.   She decided to not pick sides and go with people she deemed as being lower risk to her personal game.

Firstly – Let’s look at the facts – Loveita is not good at Big Brothering. She just isn’t. She has no social skills and thinks it is a game that should be played based on honesty and integrity, where people should be able to put their cards out on the table with no hard feelings. But even in that, she failed because she gave Cassandra and Christine no heads up that they were going to go on the block. She actually told Cassandra that she had nothing to worry about and that she was good, so it was a total blindside. Personally, I don’t think you have to tell people you are putting them up, and let’s be honest, as fans we LOVE when people are blindsided. But, Loveita cannot have it both ways. You cannot pride yourself on Never Telling a Lie and then lie. If you want your word to be regarded as golden, and that is your “thing” in the game, then you actually have to stick to it.  She did not do that, yet is still going around saying that she did.


Another fact is that Cassandra is not really Loveita’s friend. Everyone knows that when she said, “Great, that stupid/dumb bitch won HOH again,” she was not kidding. This girl has spent the entire time the feeds have been up bashing Loveita behind her back. Yes, she kept Loveita, but she really only kept her because she thought she could control her better than Sharry. She thinks she is a mastermind, and it is kind of cute, really.  But, Loveita is marching to the beat of her own morality driven drum. She has her own rhymes and she has her own reasons and she even has the beanies the match.

Loveita is also being a tad spiteful; let’s just be honest about it. In week one, when she said it would be a good idea to stop to the showmance before it got rolling, people balked at it. Christine said she did not like the way Sharry spoke to her and Cassandra didn’t want to vote their way either. So, Kelsey stayed. This left Sharry and Loveita targets for Jared who Loveita never targeted in the first place, but he had to go after the people who went after his girl of 2 hours. Fine, that’s the game. Christine was also totally graceless about not using the POV on Sharry and Loveita, not even pretending to entertain the idea. It is her right not to use the POV, but in the game of Big Brother, there is also a way that you do things to make people think that you at least care. Christine has not made it a secret that she hates Loveita and she hated Sharry. OK, that’s fine. But, now you are on the block. In that regard, Christine lacks the same SOCIAL graces that Loveita lacks. And, now… You are on the block…

Loveita also does not want to do the job of taking out people for others in the house, and honestly, that is a legitimate position. If 3rd Wheel wants Maddy/Dallas/Ramsey out, then they need to win and take them out. If Maddy/Dallas/Ramsey wants 3rd Wheel out, then they need to win their own HOH and take them out. Typically, that is how Big Brother works. People take out the person they deem to be the greatest threat to their personal game.  In her own way, Loveita probably thought she was somehow saving the house from the showmance and that she was doing this for not just her, but everyone. So, since that did not work, she is now doing what she wants to do and doing it for herself and not others.

shrug 2

You all have to remember that all of these people pretty much treated Loveita like shit during her time on the block. Yes, they kept her but they had to keep one. It is not like they kept her because they loved her. That was a failure on their part. When you know who you are keeping, PLAY NICE because they may actually win HOH again. DUH. Ultimately, Loveita knows they kept her to go after 3rd Wheel and she decided that she was not going to be their tool. And, yes, she actually said this aloud. She knows that is why they kept her. And MAAAYBE she is a little bitter about it.  #spitefulnessonfleekandiloveit

Then there is the Tim factor. I know you Canucks love your Timmy! (And believe me, he has kept me quite entertained as well…) But, you know he is a big reason that Loveita felt better about putting Cassandra on the block, right? Loveita is an over thinker and Big Brother gave her all freaking day to over think who the hell she was going to place on the block. So, in comes Tim all goofy and jolly and ready to stir the pot in his evil charismatic curly blonde Aussie way… and when Loveita said that she was thinking of putting Cassandra on the block, did he try to walk her back from the idea? Nosirree bob! In fact, he said that he was at risk of falling in love with the rudely crass old bugger and that he would gladly VOTE HER OUT himself!  He said he is not playing a vengeful type of Big Brother where, if Loveita takes out Cassandra, he will in turn come after her.


Tim also, in a way, confirmed that Cassandra’s “stupid bitch” comment was not a joke. It was in that moment that my heart sank because, although in denial, it knew that twas when Loveita decided that Cassandra and Christine were going to take a wee trip to the nomination chairs.

So, let’s look at Loveita’s options – FROM HER PESPECTIVE – not ours, we who have ALL THE INFOS, but HER perspective.

She has 3rd Wheel who consists of THREE people. TWO of those THREE people will still exist after the eviction.

Then there option two – Cassandra, who seems to be closest to Tim, but does not really seem to have a real alliance because she just bounces from group to group playing all sides against one another. Tim is not a factor, based on his own words, so that is ONE person.

Then there is Christine, who also does not seem to have an alliance… because she doesn’t. How do you have an alliance when you stay in bed all day? It just does not happen.   (OK, yes, I know McCranda, but whatever!) That is ONE person.

So, Loveita is hearing that IF she puts up 3rd Wheel, 100%, those TWO people are coming after her. But if she puts up Christine and Cassandra, the only person who is going to come after her is the ONE person who survives the block. ONE person after you is better than TWO persons any day… Amiright? AMIRIGHT???

And that is #LoveitaLogic.

What Loveita did not consider, however, is how mad 3rd Wheel would be that she did not put up Maddy/Dallas/Ramsey or vice versa. What she did not consider is that the move comes across as irrational and crazy because, in the game of Big Brother, this is just not something people do. Especially when you are saving the very same people who, as you are making your decision, are off in another room saying, “Just play along, we will get her out next week!”

This move also calls into question what another Loveita HOH would look like, which means that people who may not have targeted her next week would consider getting her out because they just don’t know if they would be on her radar next time. It is not like she has not proven she could win comps, crapshoot aside.

That said, let me play the OPTIMIST for a minute!

happy-twins (1)


Jared is proving to be a relatively level headed person amongst many many hot tempered people and he has recognized that he can weaponize Loveita to his advantage. He has already told Rail he would not go after her the next few weeks. That could change, but… maybe not.  Kelsey has said time and time again that Jared is not the boss of her, so a Kelsey HOH can definitely result in a Loveita eviction, but she seems to have her eyes set on Maddy at the moment. I could see her putting up Loveita and Maddy, although Jared may try to talk her out of it.

Continuing the optimism, technically, there is no reason for Mitch, Joel, 3rd Wheel, Dallas/Maddy/Ramsey, the brothers or Nikki to go after Loveita OVER people who can actually win the game next week. Many of them hate her, but she is not actually after them or their games. Tim WOULD have wanted to keep her there to cause chaos, but she has recently learned that he has been talking about her behind her back and she complained about him to Nikki OF ALL PEOPLE so I suspect that position will change quite soon. Hell, Big Brother will help Tim get Lov out if they have to!

Ultimately, Loveita CANNOT win Big Brother, which is the biggest argument she has to get dragged to the end. This group has all the markings of the bitterest jury in Big Brother history so she can TRY to use that to her advantage.

ATEOTD, in true Gemini form, the Pessimist in me has to rear its ugly head and say that I predict Loveita’s time in the #BBCAN4 house ends the week of the Instant Eviction.

I know the vast majority of the fandom, especially the super fandom is extremely disappointed with Loveita and her decisions, but after watching her play last week, this is not the most shocking conclusion. The POV is being played and things can definitely get crazier given how mad Loveita is at Tim…And one thing is for sure, with her in the house playing Big Brother, we really can expect the unexpected!!

As an aside, given the conversations today, I am 99.99% sure that the edit this week will revolve around the idea that Loveita is trying to get all of the girls out of the house… although it is impossible for her to actually work with any of those girls and many of those girls’ main targets are also girls… The talk of the house is “Why is Loveita targeting girls,” so we have that to look forward to!

eyeroll 3.gif


Thanks for reading!

(PS, normally I insert screenshots from the feeds, but going back to particular conversations/dates and times is very hard with these feeds, so you had to suffer through animated gifs. SOWWY! )


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Big Brother Canada 3: Final Three Weeks

OK, so… With 3 weeks left in the game, I am going to breakdown how I see the remaining houseguests. I know many of us have been lamenting about how God-awful this cast is, and this post is not going to be any different. So, if you think that this is the best gosh-darn season of Big Brother, in the history of ALL Big Brothers (or, if you are a fan of the Diaper Alliance), you may kindly stop reading and exit stage left!

I started to make this a twitlonger, but I thought this post would be more fun with pictures!


The only thing making this season somewhat interesting are the never ending twists… (No, seriously… Is there some kind of Big Brother Twist record that #BBCAN3 is trying to break that we are unaware of???)

Anywho, This is my breakdown!

Zashleigh Reimagined
Zashleigh Reimagined

ASHLEIGH: Smartest move in the game was finding a “showmance” to use as a meat shield. Luckily, her showmance led to joining forces with another showmance and the ultimate formation of the super elite Shit Squad… or Diaper Alliance; whatever. Despite having the combined IQ of a cucumber and the instincts of a gnat, the Diapers have pretty much controlled most of the nominations and evictions this season. The fact that this alliance has been so tone deaf to what is ACTUALLY happening in the house, and have only JUST lost its first member, is an astounding testament to just how bad this season is. As Ygritte from Game of Thrones would (theoretically) say, “You know nothing, Diaper Alliance!” Their perception? NOT on fleek! But, as others have noted, you do not have to be smart if you keep winning the competitions. So, good for you, Ashleigh for picking competitions beasts!

As incensed as Ashleigh gets when she hears that people think she is Zach’s lapdog, she still uses her first comp win/HOH to prove them right by going after his targets instead of those who would threaten her game most. Despite being much more intelligent and perceptive than him, she always gives in to Zach’s thinking over her own instincts. She is young and clearly has not learned to trust her instincts, yet. Still, I find this frustrating. After all, as a Vagina Warrior, I do actually want her to be great, damnit!

In conclusion: In a roundabout way, this upcoming twist could actually help Ashley if Zach or Bruno is evicted. If Zach leaves, she will not have him to talk the common sense out of her. If Bruno leaves, as one born penis-less, she is instantly safer. Essentially, this twist may save her from herself.

BRITNEE: “The Pawnable Model with No Brains” can best describe how the house (and many a fan) sees Britnee. The house pretty much sees Britnee’s moves as Sarah’s moves (as if Sarah would have wanted Willow on the block) and blamed Sarah (and Johnny) for Graig’s eviction. Sarah IS “poison,” after all, right? Last night, The remaining Shitters Diapers blamed Sarah for Britnee’s nominations of Pili, Kevin and Zach. You know… The very people who used Britnee as a pawn by nominating her, repeatedly, week after week. Pili actually asked Sarah why Britnee nominated her. Why WOULDN’T she nominate you??? (I know, logic…)

While Britnee is taking a lot of flak for nominating Willow, as a replacement during the triple eviction, from her perception Willow was no less of a threat than Ashleigh or Pilar, given that Willow was Sarah’s ally and not hers. That, on the top of the fact that Willow was playing everyone (but Sarah) in the house and never considered for the block, perhaps made her even more of a threat in Brit’s eyes. Fake fights with Sarah did not help prove that Willow was reliable or trustworthy. While both girls have called for Britnee’s head on a platter, at least with Ashleigh, she knows what she is getting.

In conclusion: Since Britnee does not get any credit for her own nominations, it actually works for her in the House of the Dim; where all logic and reasoning is replaced with flavorless bubblegum, cinnaslop and dryer lint. (This same thing can be held against her if she somehow makes it to the Final 2). Despite putting up 3 of her allies, Ashleigh is still targeting Sarah and Godfrey over Britnee. Despite backdooring Graig, Bruno still targeted Sarah and Johnny with his HOH. Whether or not you agree with her moves, Britnee comes out the other side of her HOHs with smaller targets on her back.

BRUNO: Bruno, Bruno, Bruno… (No, this is not a celebratory chant.) This guy has been all over the map, as far as who he is loyal to/willing to work with, but he cemented his choice of “Bros before Hoes” over the last week. Yes, he has gone full force against the girls with his penis leading the way. Railing against a girl alliance that never existed, he has made it pretty clear that he wants a vagina free house. Of course, with Brit not nominating him for eviction, she is likely the last girl on his hit list. (Score 1 for Brit). Contradicting myself, I actually would not be surprised if he wants Brit for the Final 2 since he, and the house, think she has not done anything that Sarah did not poison her to do. Besides, how could a girl ever beat him in the Final 2? He just needs to get there first…

Bruno has been trying to make BBCAN3 the “Battle of the Sexes” for a long time, now. Sarah’s “feministic” views, and his perception that she controls every girl in the house, have crippled him to a degree. Instead of being all in with the best people in the house, regardless of sex, he has endangered relationships with people who could have really had his back long term. In almost any other Big Brother house (not BB16 though), these moves could have and would have put a huge target on Bruno’s back from the girls in the house. But, since there is not ACTUALLY a girls’ alliance, it remains to be seen if his one-track mind hurts him. The girls did not rally together and vow to get out the guys, although they have the numbers to do so. Ultimately, this Boy vs Girl thing is really a Bruno vs Sarah thing. It remains to be seen who survives it.

In conclusion: If this was a normal week, Bruno would be 100% safe and Sarah would likely be going to the jury house – I mean, can she win anything??? – but this is not a normal week. Without the twist, Bruno’s moves had bought him at least Final 6. Unless he wins the Power of Veto, his Big Brother life can seriously be on the line. As pissed as the crowd/fans were when Bruno used the POV on Zach, it may have truly bought him another week because Zach can easily end up on the block and go out the door before him. Right now, it is a battle between Sarah fans and Sarah haters to see who they can get down into that Have Not room to battle it out over the Have Not Power. Good luck Bruno.

GODFREY: What can one say about Godfrey? Is the word “floater” too harsh for him? Sure, he has mostly been working with Bruno, but he will float to wherever power lies and pledge his eternal soul to your cause if you keep him safe. So far, this has not tripped him up in the least and he, at least, makes a boring house more interesting and enjoyable.

Houseguests, who have fallen for Godfrey’s disarmingly goofy persona, have missed out on great intel that could have potentially helped their games. In example, when he went to Kevin to tell him that he had the votes to stay in the house, Kevin did nothing with that information to attempt to save Jordan. When he told Kevin that everyone (outside of the Diapers) in the house wanted Zach and Kevin on the block, he laughed it off. Godfrey can go up to most of the people and tell them 100% of the truth and they will never believe it because it’s Godfrey; the Class Clown of BBCAN3! It remains to be seen if that is a good or bad thing. He can only be Teflon Godfrey for so long… Right?

In conclusion: If there was a Big Brother Anxiety Index, Godfrey would be on one end of it under the label NO ANXIETY, while Sarah would be on the opposite end under UNADULTURED, UNCUT, PURE ANXIETY. The fact that he does not take the game too seriously seems to work in his favor, so far. If I had to guess his choice of Final 2 Mate, it would probably be Pili because it would be much like how Andy demolished GinaMarie’s Final 2 plea to the Houseguests…


In Conclusion:

stare(I am sorry, but I refuse…)

SARAH: I have such a love/hate relationship with Sarah. I love a lot of her views on life. And, theoretically (theoretical because she has not won power to actually do anything), her ideas about the game, and what she WOULD do, are generally sound. Her perception is mostly on point. But, what does that matter when you are out of power and you and your allies do not win many competitions? She had two close allies and one of them routinely threw the comp because she wanted to play the middle. That’s a problem.

Sarah’s GRAVEST error, however, was not cultivating a relationship between Willow and Britnee. By actively working to drive a wedge between her allies, she ensured that they couldn’t trust one another. I get that she wanted to be #1 in both of their BB lives, but the problem with that is that, in a game like Big Brother, especially the Canadian version, you cannot risk your closest allies going for one another. You do not always have days to talk them into keeping the people you need. By keeping Britnee in the dark about Willah’s fake fights and all of the intel she got from Willow, Britnee could only go by what she did know when making her choices during the Triple. Sarah, mistakenly, believing that the guys would vote for Kevin over Willow sealed this monumental clusterfuck.

In conclusion: Though Sarah’s game play has been anxiety-inducing, and sometimes dumbfounding, her fans may be able to buy her another week in the game and a chance to redeem herself. If both she and Britnee survive this week, Sarah’s only true ally will be Britnee. This means that you need to start winning things, Sarah.

ZACH: swag

In Conclusion:


Welp, that sums up how I see the remaining Houseguests. I cannot believe that I thought that this was going to be a great season of Big Brother. I cannot help to imagine that, if the 1st 6 Houseguests had remained and replaced some of the drier personalities, the season would have been what I thought all along. Between the more entertaining Houseguests either throwing comps or not able to win them timely enough, and one side controlling most of the game, the season just left much to be desired. So much that I am actually now forced to watch Big Brother 17 to get my BB fix when I just KNEW Big Brother Canada would be my replacement crack. Thanks BBCAN3 for ruining the fun for all of us!!

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Little Big Play Cousin Chapter Eight

Be sure to read Chapters One, Two, Three, Four ,Five, Six and Seven before reading this one!

Or, read the whole thing here: Little Big Play Cousin – A Big Brother Inspired Ongoing Saga.

Maisy storms out of the Journal Room with her golden mane flapping in the wind the way that a supermodel’s hair bounces as she stomps down a catwalk. She does not look like a supermodel, though. She looks much more like a rabid hyena thirsting for her next big, bloody kill; and I mean not to get in her way.

I turn to go in the opposite direction but my getaway is thwarted by Linkin; our bodies collide. I am learning that no matter where I go, Linkin will not be too far behind; quite literally. I resist the urge to sock him in the gut and glare, ineffectively, instead.

“Woah, bro! Is that smoke coming out of Maisy’s ears?” He wants to know.

Well, shit, how am I to know that without looking? I turn back around to find Maisy pacing back in forth in the living area. Her thigh-length, pleated, hot pink skirt swishes, side to side, as she turns on her heels to retrace her previous steps. Yup, that’s smoke alright. Most likely, it is emanating off of the self-containing sulfur that burns from the deep, dark pit where her soul should be.

“Yo….” Linkin says and then pauses a second to think; a surefire sign that he was about to say something that he probably should not. He cocks his head to the side, quizzically. “Has your CIHS flared up, bro?” he says loud enough for Maisy to hear. “Those ingrown hairs are a real bitch, bro,” he winces, remembering the last time he called Maisy ‘Bro’ “I mean ‘sis!’”

Sigh. I hate when I am right.

Maisy had stopped dead in her tracks. She whips her head around to look the foolish boy square in the face. Her blue eyes had been set to ‘Furious.’ The boyish imbecile yelps and wraps his right arm around my waist, pulling me close enough to feel his heart pounding against my back. “Can she still see me?” he asks, whispering in my ear.

Is he serious?

“I am not an invisibility shield, you freaking mor-,” I start off, yanking myself out of his grip, but Maisy interrupts me, in typical Maisy fashion; she starts to scream.

I press my lips together and shake my head once. I cannot take this, today. I refuse to take this! I only have one more day in my HHIC room, before our first eviction tomorrow night, and I will not entertain this drama queen’s shenanigans for one more second! I tear myself away from a trembling Linkin who had, once again, grabbed me in another futile attempt to hide.

I turn to ascend the staircase to my sanctuary just as Maisy falls to the floor, short skirt and all, and kicks off a full blown tantrum. I am getting the fuck out of here.

As I flee, houseguests stream in from every corner of the compound to see what on earth had just happened. Personally, I do not give rat’s patootie what had set this off. I know that it could not be nearly as earth shattering as this spectacle suggests. I stick my nose up in the air and continue my trek up the winding staircase, as Maisy’s Minions fawn all over her.

Ohmygawd, Maisy! What’s wrong?” Judy wants to know, her voice stricken with sheer terror and panic. She must not realize that she is no longer in our alliance. I shrug, mentally.

“Maisy!” Kale yells, fright clinging to his every word, “What happened? Please, tell us!” He had ran to Maisy’s side and fallen to the floor behind her head. “Someone help me! Get her feet!” I look down just long enough to see Kale dragging Maisy up by the arms as Bill grabs at her flailing legs. Securing her in their hands, they prop her up on the sofa where she sprawls out, on her back, and wails some more. She covers her face, “It’s not fair!” she shrieks through sobs. “I cannot live like this!”

“What’s not fair, honey? Tell Bill, I will make it all better!” Bill pauses, and then adds, “PLEASE, Maisy! Stop crying… Or, I will start to cry, too!

Huh? I cannot, even!

I reach the top of the staircase and take the few remaining steps to the HHIC door. I enter and shut the door, thus shutting out the commotion below. Yes!

My nice, quiet, perfect Head Houseguest in Charge room; it is all mine; mine, mine, mine! Well, at least for another 24 hours. I can finally make the best of all that the HHIC room has to offer because, as of right here and now, there is no one up my ass asking me for a single, solitary thing!

The nomination and renomination ceremonies? Over.

All of my snacks? Gone.

The HHIC bathroom? Filthy!

I no longer have anything that anyone wants; and it feels awesome!

I go to the middle of the room and sit down on the floor, crisscrossing my legs. I place the back of my hands on my knees, with my middle fingers and thumbs pressed together; you know, like the Buddhas do it!

I close my eyes and let my body relax. I am going find this Zen place if it kills me!

If only I had some candles! That would really set the mood. I mean, they would not have to be the real deal, or anything. Even if they were just some of those nifty flameless candles, it would be perfect. I am going to add that to my Wish List just in case I accidentally win HHIC again.

Now what? I wonder.

“Namu Myoho Renge Kyo,” I say softly, copying from Tina Turner in that ‘What’s Love Got to Do with It’ movie. I have no clue what it means, but it seems to have done the trick for her and I need all of the help that I can get if I am going to survive another day in this madhouse.

“Namu Myoho Renge Kyo,” I say again, and again and again, more loudly as I go.

“Namu Myoho Renge Kyo.”

“Namu Myoho Renge Kyo.”

“Namu Myoho Renge Kyo.”

I think it is working! I am getting a vision! Is that supposed to happen?

In this vision, I can see what can only be described as Paradise on Earth! All around me, there are beautiful things being enjoyed by beautiful people who are eating beautiful food and drinking beautiful drinks! There are white sandy beaches sprawled out for as far as the eye can see. The ocean is the bluest blue I have ever seen and the skies, where the ocean meets the horizon, are a luscious gold mingled with dazzling purples and seductive fuchsias!

To top it off, right smack-dab in the middle of the beach is the most glorious bonfire I ever did lay my eyes on! It lights up the sky like a gazillion fully charged fireflies on a mission to make this the most stunning hallucination vision I have ever experienced! And, look! There is something in the middle of the bonfire. It’s a large, maple tree! Huh? That makes no sense. My eyes travel the length of the tree until they reach its leafy top. There is someone in the tree; he is cradling something in his arms! Who is it?

I focus…. It’s Tim! Wha? But, why?

Tim lifts up his arms, presenting the object to me Simba-Style. He says, “It’s a puppy this time! Can you help me get down from here? There is a lot more fire than before, and I need to find a home for this little guy.” He smiles and hugs the puppy to his chest.

“Huh?” This can’t be right. I look around and paradise slowly starts to fade away. No, come back!

The sky is now a cold, ugly gray. The beautiful things, people, food and drinks have been replaced by clumps of wet sand and broken seashells… and the ocean is now running red with the blood of a gazillion fireflies. But the burning tree, puppy, and Tim? All still here.

I whimper.

“How are you asleep?” he asks.

I feel a wash towel slap against my face and my eyes pop open. The bright lights of the HHIC room invade my corneas. Nooo!

After my eyes adjust enough, I see that I am no longer alone in my sanctuary; the walls have been breached and Casey, Maura and Meagan are all standing in front of me, staring down at me like I am some kind of alien, or something.

Wait, was I just assaulted? I look down at everyone’s hands and realize that Casey is the culprit; she is still holding the wet-pon. “How were you asleep, sitting there like that?” she wants to know.

My eyes turn to slits. “I was visioning before you guys interrupted me!” I say in hopes of coming off as extremely pissed off.

The trio laughed.

My eyes get slittier!

“You were what?” Maura wants to know. She is smirking.

I am containing a silent growl within the walls of my belly. “OK, ‘visioning’ may not be what it is called, bitch, but… fuck you AND fuck that smirk!” Oh, the things that I wish I had the lady ‘nads to say! I force a smile, “How can I help you ladies?” I ask instead.

“Oh my god, you will never believe what Maisy is going on and on about down there. We had to escape.” Meagan says.

So go escape to your own fucking sanctuaries!

I say nothing and a few beats pass.

“Don’t you want to know what it was about?”

I don’t. “…Sure.”

“Sham-fucking-poo!” Maura says with a snorting laugh.

Right. “Shampoo?” I muster up enough energy to inquire.

Casey answers, this time. “Apparently she uses, like, this super expensive bottle of shampoo that she has to import from some village in Spain, or something. She says that ALL of her hair will fall out if she has to use the cheap shit they gave us; on account of some medical condition she claims to have. As if we do not all know that is a fricking weave! She was in J.R. arguing with those poor people for over an hour – ABOUT SHAMPOO!”

I blink. “Unbelievable,” I say flatly.

“Yea,” Casey laughs. “You SO should have put her up on the block as a replacement this week!” The other two laugh with her. “Backdoor her ass!”

I grit my teeth so hard that I nearly bite the tip of my tongue off. I relax my jaw just enough to speak. “What would Madeleine Albright have said to that?” I ask trying to be as nonchalant as possible given that the devil on my right shoulder was starting to win out over the angel on the left one; and the devil wants blood!

“Who?” Casey asks.

I smack myself in the head, but only mentally this time. I am learning! “The uh, ‘cold place in hell,’ comment?” I remind her.

“Ooooooh, you mean Taylor Swift!” Casey laughs, again.

I just stare at her.

“Who is Madeleine Albright? Is she new?”Maura wants to know. “I totes like her name! It sounds so old Hollywood, glam! Does she do, like, retro-like music?”

I slowly divert my eyes from Casey to Maura, so that I could stare silently at her, now.

As I study her clueless face, I suddenly have an epiphany! Closing my eyes, I start chanting softly, “Namu Myoho Renge Kyo!”

I have this all figured out, you see. Clearly, I am still visioning. If I simply redo the chants, I can break out of my current vision! It all makes perfect sense, now! “Namu Myoho Renge Kyo,” I say a few more times. When I finally open my eyes again, the trio had disappeared from my line of sight. It worked!

“Are you done?” I hear from behind me. It is Maura! I turn around to find the trio lounging on my bed. Casey was wearing the headphones; my headphones!

My shoulders slump, in defeat.

“Yea,” Meagan speaks up, “because we want to talk to you about a final four deal before it is too late.”